TALK STRAIGHT for Chakra 5, Communication
From TEACH TANTRA* by Sasha Alex Lessin, Dean, School of Counseling & Tantra & Janet Lessin, CEO, Aquarian Radio
Assert what you want and need. Take responsibility for what you want. Contact your beloveds authentically. Express feelings directly without blame. Distinguish what you do from what you try or want. Understand how you limit yourself. Honor your rhythm of contact and withdrawal.
Speak up; don’t wait for your partners to invite you to talk. Encounter each other. Express upsets, unfinished business, resentments, demands, appreciations. Speak for yourself. Make “I …” statements. Accept no “should” from students, lovers or anyone else.
Address each other directly. When you talk to lovers, look at and see the effect you have on them. Adjust what you say to their ability to hear and understand you. When they speak, notice their effects on you. Say how you feel about what they said. Share reactions, not interpretations or generalizations. Notice–and comment on–your body signals. Comment on your partners’ body signals (when, say, they yawn or wiggle while you talk). Hear how you and your partners interrupt your own and their focus; say what you hear.
Notice (and share) your sensations, emotions and perceptions. Feel and show your pain and pleasure. Express your needs; don’t manipulate, explain, justify or judge. Reveal your internal rehearsals–what you think before you talk–to your partners and students. Notice what you choose to conceal. Remain at choice.
Notice questions you or others ask that start with “Why …?” Replace “Why…” with reactions, resentments and demands. Change “I try to …” or “I want to …” . Make each try and want into what you actually do. Convert “I can’t …”–where you use “I can’t” to limit yourself and blame the limit on others or the world–to a statement that affirms you as the chooser.
You can choose to talk straight and to own your projections. Fess up: impulses and traits you dislike, resent, envy or react to in students and lovers resonate your impulses and traits too.
Honor your lovers’ needs for solitude. They needn’t respond to you. Get their okay before you touch, hold or support them. Contact and withdraw from them when you choose.
Do no violence to self, partner or property. Maintain each other’s confidentiality. Do not undermine each other.
When you’re inattentive, close your eyes. Fantasize that you go away. Feel, hear, smell, taste and see where you imagine you go. Then notice the situation you left. Open your eyes and notice how the present differs from the fantasy. Notice what you lack in the present yet had in fantasy. Say how you could create what you lack now.
Create what you lack yourself.
STRAIGHT TALK REHEARSAL*
Think about an absent lover. Speak aloud to her or him as though she or he sits before you.
Sit on a chair that faces an empty chair.
Invoke an absent lover; say her or his name aloud.
Imagine s/he sits on the empty chair before you.
Then sit in her or his (empty) seat and identify (become, as much as you can, her or him experientially).
Assume this lover’s physical posture and emotional state.
ROLEPLAY this lover and state your existence.
Say what, as s/he, you’re like.
Next, return to your chair and tell him or her the emotions and thoughts you have about her or him.
Say the unfinished emotional business you have with this lover to her or his empty seat, as though s/he sits there.
Say what you’ve withheld from her.
to the empty seat, which represents her or him.
Take her or his seat and again become her or him and reply.
Alternate enacting your absent lover and speaking as yourself. Switch seats to mark which role–yours or the absent lovers– you play.
In each seat, react to what you said on the other seat.
* Schiffman, M., 1971, Gestalt Self-Therapy
* TEACH TANTRA
In this easy-to-read, fully-illustrated manuel, you learn to teach lovers and seekers how to:
* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexualloving
* Delve dreams and pastlives
* Worship women and gratify guys
Also by the Lessins:
TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS guides you through experiences that help you:
* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your subself shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control
THE LESSINS: HOLISTIC-LOVING GUIDES
SASHA ALEX LESSIN, PH.D. (U.C.L.A.) taught Sex Education in the University of Hawaii School of Medicine, Leeward Community College and the Professional School for Psychological Studies. He served as Director of Counseling at the Waikiki Drug Center and has counseled relationships, guided spiritual journeywork and taught tantra for over forty years.
JANET KIRA LESSIN, naturally tantric, joined Sasha as his co-teacher and presenter and together they developed, All-Chakra Tantra as Janet worked through her sexual abuse traumas and learned how to facilitate others’ reprogramming.
The LESSINS taught Tantra at Maui Community College, World Polyamory Association, World Tantra Association conferences, the School of Tantra on Maui and The Phoenix Goddess Temple.
They’ve appeared on numerous TV shows and on hundreds of radio shows and have written 10 books and counting.
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to uplevel your relationship.