By Janet Kira Lessin in TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS *
I started living September 27, 1997 when I began an all-chakra tantric relationship. That was the day I moved in with Sasha, who became my husband. He literally saved my life. I’d met him three weeks earlier when I’d given up on life.
Both my parents were dying, I had two failed marriages and I was living with an alcoholic who’d developed alcoholic psychosis, was delusional and frequently violent toward me. I was such an emotional wreck, I’d begun to deteriorate physically and would have died had my despair remained unchecked.
Medical science couldn’t repair my ills. Traditional psychotherapy could only band-aid my pain. I was dying of a broken heart. I’d given up, I knew there was no hope. And I truly believed there was none; no, not for me. That was until I met my husband, Sasha.
Looking back at it all, I wonder why Sasha didn’t run. I was so dysfunctional. I was a time-bomb about to explode, dying because I’d been raped as a child, beaten as an adult, psychologically and emotionally abused in every relationship I’d known. I’d internalized my pain and created life-threatening diseases because I was so ill-at-ease.
My role had been victim and I was a master of the game. Victims, while seeming poor and helpless are masters of manipulation. I was no exception. I was the consummate actress worthy of an Oscar; I could shape-shift and out-maneuver just about everybody. On top of it all, I was so unconscious, I was totally unaware there even was a game. Sasha, by volunteering to be next, was likely to reap the wrath of my relationships before him.
We started out sweetly enough, as all relationships do. We all go through the cycles of romance and love and our dance was no different.
Three months into the relationship my Mother died and I started screaming. My Mother had been a perpetrator and I was her victim. She’d been very ill, undiagnosed schizophrenic. Mom was the end result of many cycles of multiple generational dysfunction that goes back hundreds, if not thousands of years.
Like most perpetrators, she was acting out what was done to her. Since I was the youngest, most innocent and most vulnerable, I was her target. Lord only knows what was done to her. Mom and her family are all dead now, their secrets gone with them to the grave.
Sasha saved my life. If I had not met him I would not be here to write this today. My pain was so complete, so absolute, that I was certain to kill myself if disease did not claim me first.
Sasha saved my life with tantra. People think of tantra as a sexual thing, but tantra is an ancient art of sacred healing, the most effective healing method on this planet, when done right. When a beloved who’s trained in tantra is devoted to you and your life, gives you unconditional focus and love, you’re guaranteed to heal.
Do your inner and outer work, clear your chakras, balance your energy and call in the devotees you waited for all your life. And if he or she or they aren’t showing up, you know you need to do more on yourself to call them in.
When your beloveds show up and you answer fully, you awaken completely, pierce the veil of forgetfulness that you entered when you were born, remember your multi-dimensional self and discover your immortality. You know you connect to God(dess), the Universe, each other and yourself. With clarity comes complete healing, for you, your beloved, your planet.
Sasha supports me fully and I support him. We’re open to one another on all chakras. I’d like to share how we relate in terms of each of the chakras.
Sasha’s here for me at my base chakra, my root, my foundation, to do life fully with me. He honors my Inner Child and helps her feel safe, loved, supported and comfortable at all times. We will never leave each other, even if we die. There is no “until death do us part” because we recognize we’re immortal. I know that he’ll be with me and I’ll be with him, always. We’re totally, completed committed to one another, no matter what.
We realize that we’ve always been together, though our silly egos didn’t realize that till now. We rejoice in our reunion. We’re blissful in the knowledge of our eternal connection. Our knowledge gives us peace. The wisdom we’ve gained empowers us to do our life’s mission.
Sasha supports me my genital chakra, Chakra Two. He makes sure that I am sexually fulfilled and helps me fulfill my every fantasy. He encourages me to discover what I want rather than give in to pleasing others, including him.
I’m always at choice regarding my sexually and he, as my devotee, has consciously decided, in the interest of my total healing, to meet me at my interest level. His desires have become my wish and my wish is his desire. Our decisions are one, always consensus, especially regarding this chakra, the sexual chakra, because this is where we humans often hold our greatest pain.
I’ve never had a man empower me before. Sasha does. This is the first relationship where I’m not at odds with my partner’s power chakra.
Sasha’s so completely self-assured, at this, chakra three, the power-chakra, he supports me to take what’s rightfully mine and to stand beside him and other men in this society as equals. His self confidence leaves him unthreatened as I gain more power and sense of myself. Because he’s not wounded in his power chakra and he’s free from fear, we can join in true, equal partnership. Each of us can move away from hierarchy and domination and meet our brothers and sisters in harmony.
When partners find peace and empower one another, the battle of the sexes ends once and for all.
As for chakra four, the heart chakra, Sasha loves me with all his heart. I love him, completely, totally. Our love is unconditional. Unconditional love is love in alignment with Source. We can give and receive love. We’re in balance, harmony. Our hearts are light, full of joy. We feel happy, free from fear of loss, abandonment. There’s no doubt of the depth of our love because our heart chakras are totally open to one another. There’s no need for words, the feeling’s palpable. The energy of our heart chakras penetrates into the cells of our being.
Chakra five, throat chakra: we communicate openly, fully, authentically, freely, passionately with the full emotional expression of our feelings. We accept one another’s words. We speak kindly to one another and if we momentarily forget because we are human and weak, we return to our centers and bring one another back into a heart space of divine love and loving communication. Since we forgive each other and ourselves beforehand, we freely express whatever we want and need, free from fear. We listen with compassion, open, surrendered, totally vulnerable. We never punish one another. If we find ourselves feeling victimized, we remind one another to forgive ourselves and each other. We remain in love if our tone rises or falls, gets loud or soft. The space we’ve created lets us be free, open and honest, we merge deeper and feel our oneness.
As for our sixth chakra, our logical and psychic centers, we share thoughts and visions. While I was always smart, Sasha’s intellect is huge and I’ve increased my IQ to meet his from our association because he encourages me to think, learn, grow and become all that I can be. While Sasha was always intuitive, I’ve scared myself with my psychic abilities. We’ve opened each others’ awareness of spiritual realms. Now we’ve both become so psychic and intuitive, we not only read each others’ thoughts we’re becoming downright telepathic. Watch out when you’re near us. We’ve begun to read minds. However, with our third-eye vision centers so fully open, we’re becoming more wise, loving and discerning and would let you continue your private thoughts even if they ring loudly in our heads.
Together Sasha and I’ve raised our kundalini to new levels and are connected to the cosmos with greater clarity than we had before we joined in sacred marriage. We feel oneness with each other, God, the Universe. We’ve found the light. Bliss. Joy and this joy allows us to feel peaceful and calm even in the eye of a hurricane. Even in the midst of war, for we know our immortal selves and our bodies, while extremely enjoyable, are not who we are; they’re only an extension of our consciousness manifesting into materialism. We are one in this, the seventh chakra, our crowns.
Relating totally on all chakras, weaving your consciousness with your beloved you achieve total healing. Free yourselves from the matrix of Maya when you find the idea, logic, neuro-patterns, electrodes, light waves, thought waves, (whatever method you see or perceive), that lets you meander through the cosmic labyrinth and return home to Source. You experience Nirvana when you rediscover the moment and the thought where and when you first perceived yourself. You’re instantly and completely liberated from the Godspell when you remember going out from the light as light to experience beingness. In the meta-cosmic void you’re no longer controlled by external forces, the power elite, lack-consciousness, money, greed, jealousy, superstition or any other negative emotions or thoughts. You have direct experience of God. You no longer doubt God’s existence and need an intermediary to talk to God. You know you and the Divine are one.
Sasha and I are in awe. We look at each other, amazed at where we’ve come. From our shaky beginning, we’ve created the divine relationship, the conscious consorts, the sacred relationship. We we connect on all levels. We experience unity consciousness, our minds, bodies, souls and hearts merged into one. We make all our decisions by total consensus. Like a two-headed amoeba, we recognize that we’re a system, one, united, joined at the hearts. We’re like Siamese twins and realize that we could not possibly harm the other without totally devastating ourselves, He is me and I am he.
Are we unique among humans? No, I believe dyadic consciousness, becoming one with a lover is just one step on the road to spiritual awakening. Next level for us is to merge synergistically one with another beloved person, couple or group.
We all come from Source, we’re all one. We only feel our separation to gain experience. As we come full circle, we remember our oneness. On a physical level, when we’re ready to move beyond our separate self-sense, we connect, first with another. After we work out our differences, fears, limitations and expectations, we attempt to dance with several. We dare to surrender and merge and come to realize that we can simultaneously be one with others and not lose ourselves.
Sasha and I are polyamorous; we’re learned we can access divinity through each other and through loving other lovers too. We’ve already experienced moments of triadic and quadratic consciousness with others who’ve been brave enough to merge with us. We haven’t yet figured out how to sustain that over time. However, I’m certain we’ll get there.
We realize from our experiment in consciousness that merging with one other is a delicate dance, the first step in an elaborate, choreographed production. The dance of the souls is beautiful to watch, intricate and complex. Souls mix and match, swirl and combine, create sacred geometry. We were all together when we started, we all loved one another equally, totally, completely, unconditionally. Eventually we’ll be one again.
Actually we souls are always one and we chose our focus. When we become conscious we realize we’re connected with everyone. The connection’s palpable, undeniable. We feel it. If we could achieve oneness and sustain it, from that divine state of universal oneness there could not possibly be any war, famine, hatred or prejudice. We’d realize that we’re all parts of the divine manifesting in various forms as a statement of individual artistic expression. Our individuality is our way of co-creating with God(dess) and diversity of expression is what life is all about.
Sasha and I remain confident that we’ll call in our other beloved(s). We’re now in a space where our cup overflows, love abounds and we are ready to share, merge and meld and experience unity consciousness with more than one. Soul groups are finding one another. Each member has a piece of the puzzle necessary to heal and feel our oneness. All souls are equally important, no matter what their station, experience, intelligence, appearance or level of wealth here in physical reality.
HOW I LOVE MY WIFE by Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph.D.
In TEACH TANTRA**
“Too tired to make love,” according to NEWSWEEK (June 30), is
how evenings usually end for most American live-in couples, 20% of
whom have intercourse less than 10 times a year. This “bed death” is
a major cause of relationship demise. Daily Double Tantra Connects
offer a delightful alternative to the tragedy of weakening libido
DAILY DOUBLE TANTRA CONNECTS Wife Janet and I make love at
least twice–usually three times– a day. We work at home and create
our own schedule, so scheduling’s easy for us. But you and your live-
in can adapt the principle of touching souls and genitals two times
daily to any schedule.
3AM: I feel a gentle kiss on the lips. But then I feel tickly
whiskers and hear purring and realize it’s my cat, Cleo. Cleo
wants me to feed her and put her outside to pee. This accomplished,
I work at my computer till 7, do yoga till 8, then make breakfast
FOREPLAY FROM THE GETGO I fix tea, toast and turkey bacon as
part of our foreplay. Then, also foreplay, I listen to and expand
her dreams, hear her twilight imaging and help her formulate plans
for the day. Focusing attention on her and serving her make her
receptive to lovemaking in the afternoon.
About 10AM, I ride my bike to the beach or gym, swim or lift
weights, and pedal home. We eat, talk, shower and prepare for our
afternoon delight-Honoring the Shakti Shrine and Embracing the
AFTERNOON DELIGHT I ask Janet if I can undress her. I tell
her what I admire about her body as I remove her clothes. I invite
her to lie on her back, touch my right palm to her heart and put her
right hand on my heart. Resting my left hand on the back of her
right, I tell her to put her left on my right and look deeply into
my left eye as I gaze into hers. I say, “To serve you delights me,
my Shakti. I love relating this intimately. May my adoration heal
hurts I and others caused you. I pray our hearts unite. Meet me,
your devotee, at the Shrine of the Yoni Nadi. There, together, we
transcend our separate self-senses and join the divine dance of the
cosmos.” Then I ask, “What words have you to consecrate the worship
RUB HER RIGHT I ask if she’d like a massage; she rolls onto
her belly and I gently tug her toes, rub her soles and the backs of
each leg, massage her fingers, palms, arms, then back and bottom. I
help her turn over on her back. I keep eye-contact with her as I
massage the newly presented sides of feet, hands, arms and legs. I
glide my hands over her torso, barely brush labia and nipples and
gently massage her belly–pulling the rectus muscles from side to
side and tracing the ascending, transverse and descending colon
clockwise. Then I massage her face and head. Finally, I stroke and
knead the muscles inside the leg (especially the gracillus muscles,
where the roots of the clitoris insert into the pelvis). I press my
fingers deeply into the muscles above her pubic bone.
“May I touch your Temple of Love?” If she consents, I connect
all her chakras with sacred sector energy. Resting my left hand
gently on her heart and holding my right hand over her yoni (vulva).
I imagine beaming love from my eyes into her left eye. We breathe
together three times, then I settle my hand gently on her mons and
say, “I love you. Feel our hearts connect, energy vibrates between
us. I send you love as I breathe out; inhale it.” I exhale, draw my
navel back toward my spine and up, tighten my pubococcygeal and anal
sphincter muscles and imagine energy fountains up my spine from
tailbone, through my heart and out my right hand into her yoni.
Inhaling, I feel energy I sent her move through her heart into my
left hand. Keeping my right hand on her yoni, my eyes on hers, I
slowly move my left hand to her crown and invite the Goddess of Love
to enter her crown and move through her central channel to her yoni-
shrine. I move my left hand to her brow chakra. Successively I move
my left hand to her throat, belly and rectal chakras. For each, we
take three breaths, eye-gaze and imagine we connect energetically.
I say, “I’d like to stroke your drapes and the skin over your
pearl.” When she says, “Oh, yes; please,” I tell her to make sounds
and direct me with words; give me feedback. I gently stroke her
outer labia, roll the clitoral hood around the clitoral crown
avoiding directly touching the crown yet. When her outer vaginal
lips swell, revealing the inner lips, I softly trace circles,
spirals, horizonals, verticals, diagonals, and figure-eights on the
lips. I alternate long, short, inventive, sensitive and playful
strokes, softly tap, knead and pinch the hood and labia, then brush
POLISH HER PEARL, LICK HER LABIA, PET HER PUDENTIA When inner
labia engorge, I ask, “Would you like me to polish your pearl?”(pearl = clitoral crown). As we maintain our gaze, I blow on her
outer genitals, plant baby kisses and twill my tongue round on her
crown, lick her labia, flick my tongue into her yoni. My mouth
envelops her clitoral hood and, through the hood, my lips stroke
internal shaft of her clit. I salivate generously; lubricate her
After thirty minutes, I say, “I’d like to enter your sacred
cave with my finger.” If she’s ready, I moisten my finger in my
mouth and place the tip of my ring finger pad on her vaginal opening
and say, “Pull my finger in.” When I feel her vaginal muscles pulse
on my finger, I ease my finger into her cave and curl it inside
toward her navel, so it rests gently against her sacred sector/G-
spot/yoni nadi/transom. We breathe together, my finger unmoving for
ten deep breaths while I imagine an energy-extension of the finger
reaching up inside to her heart.
With the finger inside her, I trace a light “come here”
motion, caress her G-spot, slowly and softly trace the inner surface
of the top of her cave from cervix to orifice as I kiss her pearl,
lap her labia, wet her with saliva. I turn my wrist from side to
side which moves the finger inside her in a crescent-pattern on the
urethral sponge atop the ceiling of her yoni. After fifteen minutes,
I ask, “Would you like two fingers inside?” She nods and I curl the
underside of my right middle and ring fingers together along ceiling
of her yoni. I move these two fingers and down the transom over the
door and out the yoni, with a “come here” motion. My left hand rests
gently on her belly and I press the ring and index fingers of this
hand into her abdomen just above the pubic bone until I can feel the
fingers inside her yoni pushing up to meet the fingers pressing her
abdomen. I create dances through the ceiling of the yoni, dances for
the fingers inside and the ones outside her. I feel her sacred
sector swell between the fingers on her abdomen and those in her
vagina. I memorize which internal locations give Janet pleasure.
ENCOURAGE EMOTION If, while I touch inside, she tenses, numbs
or burns, I say, “Free associate–say whatever comes.” She remembers
touch, sex and times that traumatized or closed her down emotionally
and sexually. She relives and relates childhood events, pastlives,
fantasies, abductions, spirit attachments. She screams, cries,
laughs, makes strange sounds. “Let your feelings out, Sweetheart.” I
hold her as she sobs and speaks to each person who hurt or neglected
her. If she tells me she’s angry at me, I say, “Louder. Let me know
how mad I make you.” When she’s let all her feelings out, I ask her
to fantasize and roleplay a rewrite of the situation. I keep myfingers inside on the spot that triggered her catharsis as I enact
her parent or lover the way she wished they’d been. When she
relaxes, I move my fingers back and forth from the area that
stimulated the painful memories and an area that felt good when
touched until she enjoys both places.
ENJOY HER EJACULATION When Janet recognizes, releases and
creates alternative outcomes and we have paired the trigger areas–
areas that initially burned, hurt or felt numb–with pleasure, she
orgasms (spasmodically contracts her vagina). I make sounds with
her. As she orgasms, she simultaneously ejaculates–dribbles or
squirts (a few cubic centimeters to several ounces) divine nectar
(amrita)–clear or slightly milky, sweet- tasting, alkaline fluid
from her urethra into my mouth. I croon, “You’re beautiful,” “I love
you,” “You’re coming into your power,” and other affirmations. These
affirmations imprint powerfully as she ejaculates. I keep my right
hand in her yoni and hold her close. After several minutes, with
added lubricant, very carefully (to prevent tearing the now-
desiccated tissue), I withdraw my fingers. I lie next to her,
holding her tight, my hand on her yoni.
FEEL FINE WITH 69, THEN RIDE THE WAND. I lie back and we move
into mutual oral-genital loving. Janet then turns about, kisses my
lips, looks in my eyes, slips my wand into her yoni, rotates and
pumps her pelvis around the wand. I avoid ejaculating, I pull my
belly toward my spine then up (belly hold-uddiyana bandha) and
tighten pc muscles (mula bandha) when I feel prostate and seminal
versicles nearing discharge. I save my seed for our evening tryst.
If you don’t have time for this full afternoon connect, at
least spend fifteen minutes sitting with your legs over each others’
hips or lying on one another, gazing in each other’s eyes. Let your
genitals touch. If you’re a man-woman pair, stuff the man’s wand
into the woman’s cave, even if he’s limp. If the man has an
erection, insert but don’t move. That’s your preview of coming
attractions; save your energy for evening.
After our afternoon connect, Janet and I work a few hours,
then walk through the woods to the mailbox. I make dinner, we share
our news, then go upstairs.
BLESS YOUR EVENING LOVEMAKING At night Janet lies on me. We
breath together, then syncopate breath-take turns, exhaling through
the mouth into the other’s nostrils, saying, “Take in my love, hold
it in.” and, inhaling, “I take in and hold in your love.” I Imaginerunning energy from the front of my perineum, genitals, belly,
throat, heart, brow and crown–chakras into Janet’s. We take three
such syncopated breaths for each chakra, bless each as follows. We
pulse our anal sphincters and say, “I love you. Feel your base and
enjoy health, safety and security.” Pressing our genitals together,
we say, “I love you at your genitals, and bless your sensuality,
creativity and sexuality.” We touch bellies and say, “I love you in
your power chakra; take what’s yours.” Placing right hands on each
others’ hearts we say “I send you love from the heart.” With our
hands on the back of each others’ necks: “May you speak honestly and
sing your true songs.” We join brows and look up into each others’
eyes till they appear to merge, then say, ” I celebrate how you
understand and intuit.” Finally, we flow energy between our crowns
and say, “I merge with you. May you experience unity with the
ENGAGE IN EXTENDED LOVEMAKING, EMPLOY HAND-ASSISTED
TECHNIQUES In positions that suit our particular bodies (I’m 6’1″,
she’s 5’2″), we make love. When Janet’s on top of me and my wand’s
in her yoni I reach my hand behind her buttocks and press the base
of my wand and direct the shaft inside Janet to churn, rub and
stroke the inside of her yoni in ways she likes. I insert a finger
into rosebud and move the finger in a dance through the intervening
tissue with the wand in the adjoining vaginal wall. After Janet’s
had as many orgasms as she wishes and drenched me in amrita, she
asks me to roll over on her and release my seed as I look in her
eyes. We make ever-louder exclamations then roar like lions as I
squirt. I remain inserted several minutes, then kiss her lips,
whisper words of love, invite Cleo the cat onto the bed, read a
little Zecharia Sitchin, then sleep.
- * TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS
guides you through experiences that help you:
* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your subself shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control
Also by the Lessins:
** TEACH TANTRA
is a manual for you to experience advanced tantra and teach it to other people.
You learn to teach lovers and seekers how to:
* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexualloving
* Delve dreams and pastlives
* Worship women and gratify guys