From TEACH TANTRA”*** by Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph.D. & Janet Kira Lessin .amazon.com/Teach-Tantra-Teacher-Manual-Chakras/dp/1977642799
Center yourself with the simple technique we outline here to access, own and integrate your shadow and spiritual selves–less known inner voices (also known as parts, personality aspects, roles, subselves, subpersonalities, egos). We center when we hold the tension between opposed inner voices. Centered, we recognize, embrace and coordinate our protective, vulnerable, instinctual and spiritual subselves. Centering’s easier when we review how we develop our many inner selves.
As a baby and a kid we needed our parents’ love to survive, get along and feel okay. We imprinted our neediness; part of us, our VULNERABLE CHILD, stays needy forever.
The Child within always feels things with its heart. It remembers everything it ever felt. It remains sensitive to every change and nuance around it. The Child contributes or withdraws warmth as we relate to others. It’s the part that tells we who we can trust and when to leave painful situations we can’t change. But the Child can feel insecure. Other people can easily scare, shame or hurt it. Far too sensitive to live and make decisions in the world, the Child needs protection.
So we developed PROTECTIVE inner VOICES to make people approve of us. Protective voices tell we how to get what we want. They say what to do and avoid so people, especially our family, won’t scorn, shun, neglect, punish or abuse us.
Protective voices hide our inner instinctual voices–our selfish, sexual and angry voices from other people and even from ourselves. If our parents dislike our psychic, spiritual, creative or archetypal voices, we hide these voices too. We disown the impulses the hidden instinctual and spiritual voices press we to express. The voices we disown, collectively comprise our SHADOW.
The voices comprising our shadow, built from the attitudes of our parents, differ from the shadow voices of other people. If our parents suppressed, for example, our Inner Bard, our Bard becomes a shadow voice. If, on the other hand, they honored our Bard, and taught we to disown our Inner Sexy Side, the Sexy Side would enter the shadow while our Bard might become a primary self.
The shadow anger, sexuality, creativity, and spirituality we repress sensitize us to angry, sexy, creative and spiritual expression in other people. When we perceive others as lusty, aggressive, artistic or saintly, we feel critical or admiring of this expression in them.
Protective voices, like our Pleaser, Thinker, Pusher, Critic, or even Rebel distract us. We forget we feel vulnerable, scared, insecure, hurt. We forget we feel angry, sexy, creative or spiritual–we forget our shadow and we forget our Child.
EVOLVE A CENTER
Hal and Sidra Stone suggest we see ourselves as broader than our Reasoner, Pusher, Critic and other protective voices. Value these voices as parts of us. Recognize and respect protective voices and feel the Child, and the shadow voices too. Then we feel most alive and make contact with other people.
We grow in consciousness, according to the Stones, when we simultaneously consider the Child’s needs, the needs of the disowned shadow voices and the needs of the protective voices. From our Center, which the Stones call our “Aware Ego”, we can share as much of our vulnerability, creativity, sexuality and assertion as we choose for any situation. From our Center, we reveal enough vulnerability to connect intimately without becoming too open. And, from our Center, we use protective, instinctual, creative and spiritual voices enough to be powerful. As an Aware Ego, we balance vulnerability, power, instinctuality and spirituality.
VOICE DIALOGUE STEPS
We identify alternate personalities. We change chairs and speak as our various voices.
First, we take an initial position, that it’ll be the place for our Aware Ego, the place to hear our inner voices.
We talk about the voices active in us lately (like Intellect, Critic, Pleaser, Pusher), the ones we show the world and ones we feel inside.
We choose one of our public voices. Say what this voice is like and what it does for us.
Then we shift to a position for the voice we’ve chosen to focus upon. Embody that voice and say who, as that self, we are and what we do for the whole person we are.
As this self, we say when we came out in full and our subsequent History as this subself. We say how, as this voice, we protect other, vulnerable subselves. We tell the contributions we make and what we’d like to be acknowledged and appreciated for.
Then we return to the Aware Ego position and go through this dialogue procedure with the other voices that we and our protective selves agree to express.
Next, we stand in the Awareness and summarize what our subselves said. Impartially–without any need to decide anything–feel the energy of each of ourselves.
Then we return to the Discerning Center (Aware Ego) position and feel ourselves able to simultaneously feel and appreciate all the voices we embody. We feel our ability, in this position, to make appropriate choices, taking all our voices into consideration.
* Based on Stone, H. & Winkleman, S., Embracing Our Selves, New World Library, 1989; The Child Within, Delos Tapes: Albion, 1991.
** Tantra means “weaving” in the sense of the weft and warp of our personalities into a grid. When we practice tantra, we weave the energy of chakras.
Chakras indicate our personality dimensions: vulnerability, sex, power, love, communication, thought and spirituality. In tantra, we pair these personality dimensions with our perineums (bases), genitals, stomachs, hearts, mouths, eyes, and crowns. Within each dimension All-Chakra Tantra teaches us to coordinate two or more distinct subselves within each chakra’s dimension. We learn how to integrate the seven chakras with each other dimension within us. We synergize our chakras with our lovers’.
DRAW YOUR SELVES
[Adapted from Carter-Haar, B., and Yeomans, T. , Synthesis I, 1974: 93, 102]
Interview your subs and observe how they interact with subs of other people.
Get a group of friends together; give each person crayons and a large paper. Each person draws two concentric circles, the outer circle almost touches the page’s outer edges. Divide the outer circle into five pie segments, without penetrating the inner circle, like this:
Sit, eyes closed. Imagine yourself centered. As Center, see, appreciate and coordinate your subselves. A luminous ball moves up (to your crown) when you inhale, down (to your pelvis) when you exhale. Gradually, let the ball rise less on inhale and fall less on exhale. After a few minutes, let it center itself between your eyebrows.
When you’re centered, imagine you sit before a closed door. On the door, see a sign that says, “Selves Concerned with Love and Sex.”
See Your Sexy Self
See the door open. Out slinks your sexiest sub. It says its name. Your sexy sub says what it’s like and how it contributes to your inner ecology. Let it describe its job and say what it does for you.
Identify with this Sexy Self. As it, what do you want? Why you want it? Say your underlying motives. (Underlying motives always promote your overall well-being).
As Sexy Inner Voice, what would you would you do if you dominated your person all the time? Say your motto, Sexy.
Disidentify, separate from, differentiate from your Sexy subself. Again become the whole you, your Center.
From your Center, see your sexy voice walk from the door and onto a blank segment of the pie you drew; sketch Sexy Self. Note what it wants and what it needs. Record its motto.
Appreciate Your Protector
Center yourself again and, once more, sit before the door labeled “Selves Concerned with Love and Sex.”
The door opens again. Out walks a protective sub, a voice that tries to keep your sexy voice from getting you hurt. Let this sub say its name and what it’s like–how it functions in your inner ecology and what it does.
Pretend you’re Protector. As it, feel your existence. Notice what you want and what you want to prevent. Why do you want what you want and want to avoid what you don’t? As Protector, if you dominated your person totally, how would she or he behave?
What’s your motto, Protector?
Separate from Protector. Center yourself again. From your Center, imagine your protective voice walks from the door and onto a blank pie segment on your drawing. Draw this voice there. Note what it wants and needs; write its motto.
Center yourself before the door labeled “Selves Concerned with Love and Sex.”
Put Your Critic in Place
See the Love and Sex door swing open. Out steps your Inner Critic. Let it say its name and what it’s like.
Identify with it. Tell your existence, Critic; say what you want and why you want it. What would you do all the time if you were in charge? What’s your motto?
Separate from your Critic. Return to your Center.
From Center, imagine your Critic walks from the door and onto another pie segment.
Draw the Critic. Note what it wants and needs; write its motto.
Your Child Checks In
Open the Subselves’ door and let your Inner Child emerge. Hear its name and hear how it describes itself and its job in your ecology.
Be it. Say your existence, tell what you want and why. What would you do if you dominated her or him always? What’s your motto?
Disidentify from your Child; center yourself. Imagine your Child moves onto the forth blank on your drawing; draw your Child in the blank. Next to the child you draw, note what the Child wants and needs; write its motto.
Another Voice Emerges
Close your eyes, center yourself and imagine you again face the subs’ door.
See a fifth subself emerge. Let it move into the fifth and blank segment on the subselves’ pie you drew. Draw this self too.
With your partners, discuss your experience drawing, dancing and interacting subselves.
PARLEY PARTS’ SEXUAL CONCERNS
Reserve a quiet private, uninterrupted space–no pets or phones–for you to explore–either alone or with Partners). Set several chairs and cushions nearby. Ask a Partner to read the cues (in bold) to you and give you lots time (several breaths at least) to respond (where three asterisks (***) follow a cue. The partner who reads the cues speaks when this symbol ### precedes a cue. Write your Partner’s name and remember it]
Guide: Where you see this symbol ***, your partner responds. Where you see ###, you speak aloud. Read directions in [brackets] silently.
[Read aloud to partner from here:]
Sit here–the place for your Center from which you hear all your subs. I call your Center [say your partner’s name–Joe, Sally or whatever when you see the word “Center” in the cues below]
Name a main part–a subself (sub) or inner voice (like Intellect, Critic, Pleaser, Pusher) you show. Describe this sub. What does it do for you?
Move to a new seat, a place for that main sub. [Use the name (eg: Critic) s/he uses for Main Sub where you see the word “Main Sub” below].
Hi. Embody Main. As Main, describe your job in [partner’s name]’s ecology of subs.
When did your life start? How long have you been around? Relate your history as [partner’s name’s Main sub]
Tell me, Main, what vulnerable voices you protect.
Say the contributions you, [partner’s name]‘s main sub], made to [partner’s name]
What appreciations would you like [partner’s name] to express to you?
Thank you, I liked our talk. Would you let [partner’s name] return to the Center position?
Hi, Center. What did you notice about the sub you embodied?
Name another sub whose voice you hear in your mind’s ear (for example, Instinctual One, Creative Voice, Kid, Sexy Sally).
Move to a seat for that sub.
Become Sub 2. As 2, say how you are, what you do for [partner’s name] and what you’d like to be appreciated for.
Thank you, 2, I liked our talk. Would you let [partner’s name]] return to the Center position?
Hi, Center. Tell me about a 3rd sub that lives within [partner’s name].
Move to a new seat for that sub.
Become this voice, Sub 3. As 3, say how you are, what you do. Say the main events in [partner’s name]’s life and what you’d like to be appreciated for.
Thank you. Now let [partner’s name] return to the Center position.
Describe a 4th sub, Sub 4. Become 4 and say who you are, what I should call you, what you’re like, what you do and what you’d like [partner’s name] to appreciate you for.
If a vulnerable sub would like to speak to you but it (or your protective subs) would rather you not embody it, talk about it from your Center.
Stand behind me; face the spaces you occupied for your subselves as I summarize what you said as each. Feel each sub’s energy from your neutral observer perspective. [Sum up what your partner said in each sub’s position.]
Return to Center. Tell me what you learned.
Sit a seat for your Center, where you hear your subs.
Now move from the seat to another seat where you embody Critic–a sub that sees what you do well and encourages you to improve and prioritize.
Hi, Critic. I met you in an earlier dialogue and I’d like to get to know you better. Please say how you serve [partner’s name] in relations and sexual situations.
If you dictated [partner’s name]’s sex life, with whom and how would [partner’s name] relate sexually?
What limits do you put on [partner’s name] in sex?
When did you emerge in [partner’s name]’s life?
Describe the circumstances that brought you out strongly.
What, Critic, was your job?
What do you do in [partner’s name]’s ecology now?
Tell me, Critic, what does [partner’s name] do in sex and in love relations that shames or upsets you?
Say the worst things that can happen to [partner’s name] in lover/sexual relationships.
How do you protect [partner’s name]’s from pain, shame and worst things?
What contributions do you, Critic, make to how [partner’s name] relates to lovers or potential lovers?
How, from your perspective, has [partner’s name] improved with lovers?
How can [partner’s name] improve more? Tell the first, small step [partner’s name] can take to do better.
[partner’s name] can reasonably take that first step next … [state time, place circumstances for Center to implement step 1 to improve partner’s love life in the direction Critic indicated].
Thanks, Critic. Now let [partner’s name] return to the original seat, the Center’s place. Separate from your Critic and center yourself.
As Center, discuss your experience when you spoke as your Critic.
Move from the seat you’re on to another. Become your Inner Child. As Child you feel everything your lovers say and do; you know if other people feel their own inner playful, sensitive, magic inner kids.
As [partner’s name]’s Child, say what you’re like.
What, Child, does [partner’s name] do that scares you?
What does [partner’s name] do that lets you feel playful?
What does [partner’s name] do that brings out your magical, psychic, creative aspects?
Tell [partner’s name], Child, what you feel about the way s/he runs sexual loving.
If you, Child, controlled [partner’s name] love life, how would you have [partner’s name] conduct it?
How would you like to make sure you feel secure, safe and healthy?
Name people in your life, whom you sense can feel their inner children.
Which, in touch with their Inner Kids, would you like [partner’s name] to get close to?
Thank you. Now let [partner’s name] disidentify with–stop enacting–you, Child. Separate from Child. Return to your original seat.
As yourself [partner’s name] the Center, comment on your experience when you enacted, then disidentified with your Child?
Move to a new seat and embody the sub expresses your unrestrained, divine sexuality–your Sexy Self, whom I’ll call Sexy or another name if you like.
If you, Sexy, ruled [partner’s name] what sex acts would you have [partner’s name]’s do with whom?
Thank you. Now let [partner’s name] move you offstage Sexy.
Separate from Sexy. Return to your original seat.
As yourself, [partner’s name]’s Center, say how you felt when you identified and disidentified with your Sexy.
Move to this [a different seat]. Be a Protective sub. As [partner’s name]’s Protector, say what you’re like.
How do you want [partner’s name] to behave with me?
Why, for [partner’s name]’s overall good, do you want that?
Say, Protector, what you feel about the way [partner’s name] interacts with you.
Thank you. Now [partner’s name] separate from you, Protector.
Return to your original seat, the place for your Center. What did you experience as Protector?
Stand behind me in the Witness position. Face the seats where you voiced your Critic, Child, Sexy Self and Protector. Stay neutral and objective. As I review what your Critic, Child, Sexy Self and Protector said, sense each’s energy. ### [Summarize what she or he said when they personified each sub.]
Return from the Witness position to the seat for [partner’s name]’s Center.
As Center, embrace, modulate, choreograph, conduct, direct, coordinate, and co-counsel Critic, Child, Protector and Sexy Self. Feel each in your body.
Imagine a sexual situation you might get into with me. Describe what you imagine.
Imagine, in the situation you describe, Sexy’s aroused but your Protector worries. Center yourself. See how to meet both what Sexy needs and what Protector needs. Recognize, accept, coordinate and synthesize your Protector’s caution, Critic’s reflection, Child’s vulnerability and [partner’s name]’s Sexy’s sensuality. You, Center, choose, decide, direct and choreograph the dance of your subs.
APPRECIATE PLEASER & TALK TO TAKER TOO: Center in Your Power Chakra
Your Critic can align with your Pleaser (Giver, Considerate Self, Nice Self), the sub that wants lovers happy and wants their approval. Critic keeps your Selfish (Taker, Inconsiderate) Sub offstage, hidden from other people so they won’t disapprove, reject or hurt your Inner Child.
If you identify too much with Pleaser, you suppress Taker. If you meet lovers’ needs first and yours last Taker may burst onstage for all to see and Critic criticizes you.
Your Center balances Giver, Taker and Critic and sees value when you give, get and criticize. You can modulate generosity and selfishness, assertiveness and compromise, spontaneity and thoughtful action. You hear and honor your Child’s needs, hurts and fears and address Critic’s concern that others value and approve Child.
Sit on this cushion–the place for your CENTER, where you hear your inner selves.
Tell me about Pleaser, your nice part, the sub that makes other people happy.
Describe how Pleaser interacts with your other subs.
What does Pleaser do for you?
Sit in a new seat, one for PLEASER.
Hi. Enact the Pleaser. As Pleaser say what you do for [partner’s name]
When did your life as Pleaser start? When did you constellate for [partner’s name]?
Tell your history as Pleaser.
Relate, Pleaser, how do you protect [partner’s name] from hurt, fear and insecurity.
What, Pleaser, have you done for [partner’s name] that you’d like [partner’s name] to acknowledge and appreciate.
Thanks, Pleaser. Let [partner’s name] return to CENTER position.
Hi, Center. Tell me about TAKER, the part Critic calls “Selfish”, the sub that wants you to have what you want. Move to a seat for and personify your Taker sub. What do you do for [partner’s name]?
Say the main times you came out in [partner’s name]’s life.
When did you help [partner’s name]?
Say what you’d like [partner’s name] to appreciate you for.
Relate when you’d like [partner’s name] to assert her/his needs more.
Discuss how effectively [partner’s name] meets her/his sexual, assertive and creative needs?
Thanks, I liked our chat. Now let [partner’s name] return to CENTER.
Now move again; stand behind me, in the WITNESS position as I summarize what your Pleaser and Taker said.
Stand impartially–without any need to decide anything. Feel each sub’s energy as I tell about them. [Say the main things you noticed about partner’s Pleaser and Taker] Nod, “yes,” when you feel them.
Return to the CENTER cushion. Feel yourself in the middle, able to feel and appreciate both Pleaser and Taker.
Say what you learned.
CONSTELLATE INNER LOVER
Embody your Ideal Lover. As Ideal Lover, describe your existence, what you’re like.
Say how you feel about [partner’s name].
Tell me what you want for [partner’s name].
Reveal what you value about [partner’s name].
Change position, stop playing Ideal Lover.
Embody your Center. As Center, establish a dialogue with your Inner Lover.
What did you learn from this roleplaying?
BENEFIT WHEN YOU BOND
Recall, then say when you felt pain, fear, insecurity or over-sweetness as we related.
Say how we interacted in parent/child ways.
What bothered you about how I behaved?
Move to a seat from which you roleplay me. Pretend you’re me; roleplay me. Exaggerate what I do and say. Say what you, as me, fear, think and suspect.
Now move to a seat where express yourself and respond to me as yourself again.
As yourself, tell me how you feel toward me. Express feelings, irrational thoughts and impulses; exaggerate your emotions; express more.
Now return to your original cushion, the Center.
Say what vulnerabilities–do you feel insecure, fragile, scared, hurt–you and I activate in each other.
How do I represent a disowned voice for you?
How does the pattern you described with me re-create the pattern you enacted with people who raised you or a sibling?
Stand behind me now; face the seat in which you enacted voice within you that you projected on me. Maintain neutrality; observe objectively. As I review the main things you said in the disowned voice, sense its energy ### [Summarize what your partner said.]
Return to the seat for your Center.
How can you, Center, nourish your vulnerable, Inner Child without stifling your other voices?
How can you integrate the disowned voices I represented into your life?
TEACH LOVERS TO LOVE YOU BETTER, TEACH STUDENTS TO LOVE THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER
**TEACH TANTRA is a manual for you to experience advanced tantra, teach it to others and, optionally, attain certification as a tantra teacher. You learn to teach lovers and students how to:
* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love
* Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexualloving
* Delve dreams and pastlives
* Worship women and gratify guys
Learn how to use Centering–practice under supervision at the STARGATE TO THE COSMOS CONFERENCE, learn more about ETs on Earth. Stargate’s October 25-28, 2018, MCM Elegante Hotel, Albuquerque, NM www.stargatetothecosmos.org 808-214-3442
Get TEACH TANTRA at .amazon.com/Teach-Tantra-Teacher-Manual-Chakras/dp/1977642799
For the Student and for the people you teach: TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS at amazon.com/Tantra-Chakras-Sasha-Alex-Lessin/dp/1548102830