SCRAP SCRIPTS THAT BLOCK OR DIVERT YOU FROM BEING THE LOVER YOU WANT TO BE
From TEACH TANTRA* by Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph.D. & Janet Kira Lessin amazon.com/Tantra-Chakras-Sasha-Alex-Lessin/dp/1548102830
If parents, religious teachers, media icons, literary paragons, authority figures and/or peers encouraged you, you grew sexual and romantic subs and a center to coordinate them. If mentors discouraged you, did you depress your sexual and lover subs? You and many of your students may have killed their sexuality with parent programs.
Did parents imprint attitudes toward masturbation on you or your students? Did they sneer at sex with disabled people? Did they show disgust at the thought of sex with people of races or body types, ages, religions, occupations, wealth, location or schooling?
Did caretakers, media, and peers stop you from what you wanted to do? Did they make you do what you didn’t want to? If they interfered with your erotic explorations, maybe you may have conformed to or rebelled against what they wanted. If parents forbade self-pleasuring, they held you back. If they told you to masturbate (as an option to intercourse) they pushed you.
When people push and pull you, they imply you lack the judgment to choose for yourself. They want you different from the way you’d develop if you’d explore; they neither push nor restrain you.
Maybe you obeyed them and acted as you thought those who pushed or restrained wanted and evoked a Pleaser or Conformist Sub in you. Or you may have or rebelled against parents and developed a Rebel or Addict. In either case–if your caretakers pushed or pulled you in directions and paces they demanded, you know they didn’t love you as you were naturally.
REPROGRAM YOURSELF FOR YOUR DIRECTIONS AT YOUR PACE
Transcend your erotic conditioning. First, have a partner read the cues below; you respond. Then have your partner read the cues to you and give you a turn responding. Embrace your hidden parts and keep your protective reactions too. Witness and center yourself; coordinate your love life in ways that meet the needs of your wild and your controlled subs.
Reprogram a limit then love and enjoy sex. A partner reads the cues (in bold below) to you. The cues have you relive a time when someone interfered with love or sex so you snuffed or fixated on how you sense, do sex, or show love. Rescript yourself and consciously choose how you love and enjoy sex.
Your partner 1) reads the cues aloud, 2) reads reading instructions in square brackets [ ] silently, and gives you plenty of time to respond:
Lie on your back, eyes closed, legs apart, arms at your side. Take long, slow breaths through your mouth; let your belly stick out when you breathe in, fall when you breathe out. Make a soft “ahh” sound as you let all the air out.
Recall WHEN SOMEONE PUSHED you into something sexual or romantic you weren’t ready for or WHEN THEY HELD YOU BACK from something you were ready for. About how old were you? Tell (and relive) the incident in the PRESENT TENSE.
What EMOTION do you experience when they push or pull you?
What body sensations do you feel in this experience?
Feel that emotion now. Sink into the feeling more deeply. INTENSIFY it.
Imagine–perhaps unlike the situation you’ve relived–you can express yourself now and tell your pusher (or puller) how you feel. Amplify and EXPRESS yourself to the person(s) involved in the situation.
What limits, fixations, conclusions, attitudes and INNER VOICES (subs) does this experience create or reinforce in you?
How did the fixations, conclusions, attitudes and subs you developed or reinforced from this experience serve you then? HOW HAVE THESE SUBS AND ATTITUDES PROTECTED YOUR INNER CHILD through the years?
How do these protective subs and defensive attitudes serve you NOW? What do the protective selves need?
REVISE AND RETELL THE SCENE you relived. Retell it with a script that frees you in situations that resonate with the one you imprinted. Your retell should imply positive options.
I ROLEPLAY [say the person’s name–Mom, Dad, Lover, Rapist, etc.] in the situation. This time I act-out his/her part as you rewrite. How should I play him/her [choose one] so you remember that you choose your reactions to situations that remind you of what you relived?
Create an AFFIRMATION–a reminder sentence–to help you remember you can choose your response to situations that recall the situation that imprinted you to limit yourself in sex or love. Say what you affirm aloud.
Affirm your affirmation again, louder. Shout it.
Imagine a future instance where you get your old automatic reaction to a sex, love or relation issue. Ask the subself that carries your old reaction say its CONCERNS. Sat what it says.
Ask the sub that says “yes” to new options what it wants in the instance you fantasized.
CENTER yourself between the sub that offers your old reaction and the sub that says “reflect and choose.”
say what the steps you’ll take to meet both subs’ needs.
COMMENT on this experience.
Trade roles with me; read the cues to me.
REVIEW YOUR EXPERIENCE; FUTURE-PACE WHAT YOU LEARNED
What did you experience when you responded to the cues above?
What did you learn in your role as Reader?
Take a lover and/or friend through Reprogram Yourself for Your Directions at Your Pace. Write what your student processed and how you facilitated her or him.
In what ways did your parents show you love when you were little?
To what degree did your parents give you true love at for your body, emotional, intellectual and spiritual consciousness?
Tantra Books by the Lessins:
* TEACH TANTRA
Learn to teach lovers and friends how to:
* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexual-loving
* Delve dreams and past lives
* Worship women and gratify guys
TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS
guides you through experiences that help you:
* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your subself shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control
THE LESSINS: HOLISTIC-LOVING GUIDES
SASHA ALEX LESSIN, PH.D. (U.C.L.A.) taught Sex Education in the University of Hawaii School of Medicine, Leeward Community College and the Professional School for Psychological Studies. He served as Director of Counseling at the Waikiki Drug Center and has counseled relationships, guided spiritual journeywork and taught tantra for over forty years.
JANET KIRA LESSIN, naturally tantric, joined Sasha as his co-teacher and presenter and together they developed, All-Chakra Tantra as Janet worked through her sexual abuse traumas and learned how to facilitate others’ reprogramming.
The Lessins taught Tantra at Maui Community College, World Polyamory Association, World Tantra Association conferences, the School of Tantra on Maui and The Phoenix Goddess Temple.
They’ve appeared on numerous TV shows and on hundreds of radio shows and have written 10 books and counting.