From TEACH TANTRA* by Sasha Alex Lessin, Dean, School of Tantra & Janet Kira Lessin, CEO, Aquarian Radio
You and your lovers bond when you alternate child and parent roles with each other. You and they enjoy positive bonding; you nurture and protect one another.
But sometimes you feel vulnerable–hurt, scared, ashamed, stressed, tired, jealous, insecure or threatened, hide what you feel and respond with a defensive sub rather than show your vulnerable Inner Child.
SOUR BONDS KILL INTIMACY
Initial defensiveness can trigger defensive reactions in a lover, to which you respond with further defenses. Hal and Sidra Stone call defensive sub duels negative bonding.
Example: In a positive bond, Jim and Sue nurture each other. Their bond turns sour (negative) when Sue yells till Jim gets parent-like, criticizes her and she collapses into a helpless child who cries at his criticism.
They end the negative phase when they express vulnerability. They understand how each expressed the other’s under-expressed sub. When they see this Jim can raise his voice as had Sue; Sue–not just Jim–can access her Intellect. They return to interdependence and relate Center-to-Center.
OVER-SWEET BONDS CLOY
If you and a lover never feel fear, hurt, tense or annoyed and never upset each other, you may relate lifelessly until you analyze your parent-child relating and encounter each other from your centers rather than from your inner parents and inner children.
When you and a lover experience sour or cloying-sweet relating, use the cues below to learn how your bond works and how to shift to your Center–the conscious, balanced perspective from which to choose to relate.
TAKE TURNS WITH A LOVER
You read the cues–one at a time–and your lover responds, then she or he reads the cues to you and you respond.
SIT ON THIS SEAT [Indicate one] FOR YOUR CENTER, WHERE YOU HEAR ALL YOUR INNER VOICES.
RECALL, THEN SAY WHEN YOU FELT PAIN, FEAR, INSECURITY OR OVER-SWEETNESS AS WE RELATED.
SAY HOW WE INTERACTED IN PARENT/CHILD WAYS.
WHAT BOTHERED YOU ABOUT HOW I BEHAVED?
MOVE TO A SEAT FROM WHICH YOU ROLEPLAY ME. PRETEND YOU’RE ME; ROLEPLAY ME. EXAGGERATE WHAT I DO AND SAY. SAY WHAT YOU, AS ME, FEAR, THINK AND SUSPECT.
NOW MOVE TO A SEAT WHERE EXPRESS YOURSELF AND RESPOND TO ME AS YOURSELF AGAIN.
AS YOURSELF, TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL TOWARD ME. EXPRESS FEELINGS, IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS AND IMPULSES; EXAGGERATE YOUR EMOTIONS; EXPRESS MORE.
NOW RETURN TO YOUR ORIGINAL CUSHION, THE CENTER.
SAY WHAT VULNERABILITIES–DO YOU FEEL INSECURE, FRAGILE, SCARED, HURT–YOU AND I ACTIVATE IN EACH OTHER.
HOW DO I REPRESENT A DISOWNED VOICE FOR YOU?
HOW DOES THE PATTERN YOU DESCRIBED WITH ME RE-CREATE THE PATTERN YOU ENACTED WITH PEOPLE WHO RAISED YOU OR A SIBLING?
STAND BEHIND ME NOW; FACE THE SEAT IN WHICH YOU ENACTED VOICE WITHIN YOU THAT YOU PROJECTED ON ME. MAINTAIN NEUTRALITY; OBSERVE OBJECTIVELY. AS I REVIEW THE MAIN THINGS YOU SAID IN THE DISOWNED VOICE, SENSE ITS ENERGY ### [Summarize what your partner said.]
RETURN TO THE SEAT FOR YOUR CENTER.
HOW CAN YOU, CENTER, NOURISH YOUR VULNERABLE, INNER CHILD WITHOUT STIFLING YOUR OTHER VOICES?
HOW CAN YOU INTEGRATE THE DISOWNED VOICES I REPRESENTED INTO YOUR LIFE?
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Way more tantra–free of course–at
http://schooloftantra.com/
* TEACH TANTRA
amazon.com/Teach-Tantra-Teacher-Manual-Chakras/dp/1977642799
is a manual for you to experience advanced tantra and teach it to other people.
You learn to teach lovers and seekers how to:
* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexual-loving
* Delve dreams and past lives
* Worship women and gratify guys
Also by the Lessins:
TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS
amazon.com/Tantra-Chakras-Sasha-Alex-Lessin/dp/1548102830
guides you through experiences that help you:
* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your subself shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control
