(For Chakra 1, Inner Child)
By Sasha Alex Lessin, Co-Author (with Janet Kira Lessin) of TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS*”
Parents either meet or fail to meet a child’s needs for love in ways the child senses and hold and encourage her or him to develop in her or his own direction and at her or his pace.
Explore how what parents imprinted on you still influence what you think and do. See how caretaker imprints dictate the ecology of inner voices, dominate your bodies, project into your dreams and direct your spiritual aspirations. Probe the automatic responses you learned from parents and other caregivers from conception, gestation, labor, delivery, childhood. Learn how to modify what they imprinted then to suit life now.
DADS: If your dad didn’t love himself and others, you may’ve copied this. If so, divorce him and do better He may never love you unconditionally. Then empathize with him. Learn how his parents imprinted him to imprint you. Forgive Dad; tell him you love him.
Partner with someone and read the cues to a partner who responds. Next, reverse roles and let your partner read the cues to you and you respond.
See the inner voices and mannerisms you derived from your Dad. Remember habits he had that helped or hurt you. If you fought them, you may have made yourself into his opposite.
Did Dad deem you a blessing, accident or burden? ***
Did he want you male or female? ***
What did Dad want you to do what he didn’t? ***
Did he make you meet his standards? ***
Did he compete with you? ***
Did he ignore you, teach you males counted more? ***
Did he model men as cold, distant or babyish? ***
Did you and Dad hug, play, talk, listen and love as you wanted? ***
Did he heed only his, Mom’s or the other kids’ needs and ignore yours? ***
Did Dad parent or just pay for and police you? Or leave you to Mom? ***
Did he avoid, fear, bully, put down, or humor Mom? ***
Did he grovel? ***
The way he treated her showed you how to act with women.
Did you see him hug, kiss, her, hear him compliment her? ***
How he treated you and the other kids started your attitudes toward authority.
Did he dictate, stifle spontaneity?
Did he hit, confine or abuse you, Mom, your brothers or sisters?
Did he, with love, help you learn right from wrong?
Did he always decide what you do together? ***
Did he always let you have your way? ***
Did he combine guidance and flexibility? ***
Did he cheer and enjoy you and your siblings or judge, mock or just tolerate you. ***
Did he emphasize grades too much? ***
Did he care how you did in school? ***
Did he see you only when you misbehaved? ***
Did he make you compete with the other kids? ***
Did Dad favor you or other kids? ***
Was Dad fair? ***
Was he a good provider? ***
Did your father make you beg for money? ***
Did he discuss family finances so you mastered money? ***
Did Dad demand Mom love only him, while he had other women? ***
Was he happy married to Mom? ***
How did he view sex? ***
How did he react to your puberty and interest in sex? ***
What did he teach you to expect in relations? ***
Did Dad overwork? ***
Did he work poorly? ***
Did he balance work and play? ***
Did Dad laugh lots? ***
Did he leave or die early, making you deal with a stepdad or Mom’s lovers who modeled negative traits for you to adopt or rebel against? ***
[REVIEW FATHER-CHILD HISTORY]
What hurt, upset or disappointed you as you related to him? ***
What sucked in the relating model he imprinted on you? Emphasize his negative side; raise your ire. ***
Use fists, a tennis racket, baseball bat or rubber hose: pound a cushion, shout and complete this sentence many times with different endings. Each time you pound, yell, “Father, I resent you for …” *** [Guide partner to complete repeatedly until she or he exhausts resentments for father.]
Tell Dad as you pretend he sits on a cushion before you what you hid from him. ***
Tell him your secrets. ***
Sit on the empty cushion on which you imagined he sat and enact him. As Dad respond to the secrets your child–that’s you, Dear Partner–who sits before you. ***
Dialogue about the secrets; alternate playing Dad and yourself as you talk to each other. ***
Return to your seat and face the cushion on which you enacted Dad.
Finish, to him, “Dad, I haven’t resolved …” ***
[LET OUT LONGING]
Tell your father what you wanted and needed from him. ***
Tell him all you longed and hoped for from him. ***
[SEE SUBSELVES THAT MIMIC DAD]
Realize how you copied Dad. Identify unwanted traits he showed and you adopted. ***
What did you hate about Dad? ***
Imagine he’s seated before you; tell him your withholds, starting with, “Dad, I never told you…***
Tell him your longing and unmet needs for him. Say what you hid from her. ***
Tell him how you got his bad traits. ***
Tell me what your father was called when he was 13 years old. What was his name then? ***
Imagine he sits, as a thirteen-year-old, on a seat in front of you. Pretend you and Dad, both of you 13 years-old, talk. Sit on the seat on which you imagined him and imagine you are he as an adolescent, about to become an adult.
Enact Dad as a 13-year-old and say how your folks raised. Say how they conditioned you to treat me as you did.***
As Dad, compare your and your father’s thirteen-year-old existences and factors that molded him and you. ***
As Dad, tell your child [partner’s name] the trouble you had raising her or him. ***
Go back to your seat, dear Partner. Be you again.
Tell Dad what you appreciate. ***
Tell him what you forgive him for. ***
Imagine Dad died. If he already died, visualize his funeral. Watch his coffin close. Empathize with him. Feel what the boy in him hoped, dreamed, loved and cherished as the coffin shuts over him.
See him buried or his ashes housed or scattered.
Did his life turn out as he wanted? ***
Finish: “Father, I forgive you for …” ***
Tell Dad what you appreciate; say his good traits. ***
Relive aloud some love and fun you and he shared. ***
Which traits, habits, attitudes and subselves Dad modeled do you adopt as yours too? ***
Imagine you and he, age 13. Play, frolic, skip, share love.
If true, say, “Dad, I love you.” ***
Which traits, habits, attitudes and subselves Dad demonstrated do you adopt as yours too?
Close your eyes. Relive scenes with him you enjoyed. Describe these scenes in the present tense as though you’re now living them again. ***
Consider “C,” a conflict you experience in your love life–one that doesn’t involve the males that had charge of you when you were a kid.
Fantasize a PERFECT POP, perfect every way. He always cherishes the babe, child, teen, and adult within you. He adores your fantasy mother and reacts always with archetypal maternal wisdom.
Portray him; tell your traits.
Tell your child (you) how you feel toward him or her.
Counsel your child how to relate to “C”. Hold the child close and let him or her feel your love, absorb your clarity.
Change back to you and get Dad’s gifts.
Now let’s trade roles, you enact Guide, I’ll enact Partner as you read the cues for Reprogram Parental Imprints (above).
[ Show partner where to start reading cues for this.] ***
To clear with your mother and the females that had charge of you when you were growing, click https://wp.me/p1TVCy-5pG
- * TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS (preview)TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS guides you through experiences that help you:* Love each other more and better* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other* Share your diverse inner-voices* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control
- Teach lovers to love you better with
TEACH TANTRA–Book 2 in Lessin’s tantra series