From TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS * by Sasha Alex Lessin, Dean, School of Tantra & Janet Kira Lessin, CEO, Aquarian Radio
(For Chakra 1, Inner Child)
MOTHERS
Your mother either met or failed to meet your needs for her love in ways you could feel. She met your needs if you sensed her love. Your Inner Child remembers whether Mom held you, how much or how little she encouraged you to grow in your own direction and pace.
Explore how Mom imprinted her programs on you, macros that still influence what you think and do.
Get how her imprints continue to dictate the ecology of inner voices, dominate your body, project into your dreams and direct your spiritual aspirations.
Probe the automatic responses you learned from parents and other caregivers from conception, gestation, labor, delivery, childhood. Learn how to modify what they imprinted then to suit life now.
MOTHERS: If your mother (and/or the females in charge of you when as you grew up, didn’t love and accept herself and others, you copied or reacted against her model; you created defensive subpersonalities (inner voices, parts) to deal with her example.
She couldn’t model self-love and overflow love to others if her parents didn’t model it. If so, “Divorce” her. I don’t mean estrange yourself from the old gal, just above her negative examples.
Therapeutically, but not in person with Mom, rage at how she hurt you, how she gave you the junk models.
Then put yourself in Mom’s place and get how her parents molded her. Forgive her.
Tell her you that you love her.
Partner with someone and read the cues to a partner who responds. Next, reverse roles and let your partner read the cues to you and you respond.
Did your Mom want you?
Did she want a girl or a boy?
Did she treat you like a bouquet or a burden? Did she ignore you or leave you to others?
Did you delight her?
Did she show you love you felt? Make time for you?
Did she die or desert you? If so, do you still hurt inside?
Did she teach you to get along with or struggle against your siblings? Did she displace you with other kids or show favoritism?
How well did she ready you for school and react to your grades, sports, plays, and clubs? Did she encourage you or criticize and withhold praise? Did she use your successes to win status from her friends? Did she attend Visitor Day at school?
How joyous did she make birthdays and holidays? How did she react when you gave her gifts?
Did she hit you?
Ignore your misdeeds?
Stop speaking to you?
Threaten God’s wrath?
Leave discipline to Dad? Did she teach you to deny mistakes?
Did she help you shape your behavior yet respect your integrity and self-esteem?
When you ailed, did she comfort and care for you? Or make you feel guilty? Did she reward illness to get tenderness?
What attitudes toward men and marriage did she model? Did she belittle or praise Dad? Did she model equality or submissiveness in marriage?
Did she enjoy your friends or did she show jealousy toward them? Did she let you pick your own friends or did she pick them and so you distrusted your judgment?
Did she demonstrate tolerance or prejudice?
Did she laugh and play with you, or withdraw, tense or mope?
Don’t confront your mother with this material until you (later) balance how you see her.
RELEASE RESENTMENT
With fists, racket, bat or hose pound a cushion. Each time you pound, yell,
“Mother, I resent you for …” (Complete many times, until you exhaust your resentments.)
SAY SECRETS
List things you hid from her.
Imagine Mom sits before you. Tell her your secrets.
Then sit on her seat and play her. Respond as Mom.
Dialogue about the secrets; alternate in her role and yours.
FINISH FEELINGS
Finish, to her, “I haven’t resolved ...”
LET OUT LONGING
Tell her what you wanted and needed from her.
Say all you longed and hoped for from her.
HEAR SUBS (Inner Voices) THAT MIMIC MOM
Realize how you copied Mom; identify unwanted traits she showed that you adopted.
Put yourself in Mom’s place. Empathize with the hand life dealt her and that she did the best she could.
FEEL HER
Empathize with Mom till you forgive and love her. Maybe her mother didn’t hug, help and cheer you but put yourself in her place. Drop your anger. Work through conflicts that keep you apart. Forgive her.
Identify with Mom when she was 13. Begin, “I’m ... [Partner’s Mother’s first name].
My life’s like … (Describe it.) “I got this way, because …”
As 13-year-old Mom-to-be, say whether and how you felt loved.
Tell how the people in your family got and get along. Say how your parents affected the way you and your siblings treated each other. If you were an only child, how did this affect you?
Relate how you fared at school.
Say how your parents treated your friends.
Tell your child-to-be, [Partner’s Mother’s name] how your parents led you to raise him or her.
What flaws marred their teaching?
Be you again. Tell your 13-year-old Mom-to-be how your first 13 years compared to hers.
Ask how her early years led her to treat you. Then roleplay her and answer as though you’re she.
Again enact your inner own Inner 13-year old again. Like the girl you were, ask Mom’s 13-year-old–her inner young person–five questions to help you understand how what she learned made her how she was with you. If you don’t know, make up probable answers.
Compare how your parents and life programmed you and how your mother’s parents programmed her. How did the programs you each got affect each other?
LOVE MOM
Imagine Mom died. If she already died, visualize her funeral.
Watch her coffin close. Empathize with her. Feel what the girl in her hoped, dreamed, loved and cherished as undertakers lower her coffin shuts.
See her buried or her ashes housed or scattered. Did her life turn out as she wanted?
Finish: “Mother, I forgive you for …”
Tell Mom what you appreciate; say her good traits.
Relive aloud some love and fun you and Mom shared.
Which traits, habits, attitudes and subs Mom modeled do you adopt as yours too?
Imagine you and she, both age 13, play, frolic, skip, share love.
If true, say, “Mother, I love you.”
Talk with her in person, phone or write. Talk kindly about your relationship with her. If she died, speak to her spirit.
*Write “Junk Memories With Mom”–what hurt, upset, disappointed you as you related to her, what sucked in the model she imprinted on you.
*What did you learn about your relations with your mother when you
a) enacted her,
b) expressed resentments,
c) told secrets,
d) revealed longings and f) finished feelings with her?
*What did you learn when you guided and led your partners as they roleplayed, released feelings, shared to their mothers? Summarize your work with each person you guided.
*Imagine that from your semi-conscious you hear a voice that reminds you of what you hated about Mom. Imagine this voice within you says what it wants and why. Write what it says.
* List Mom’s traits you adopted but you no longer want.
*Compare and contrast Mom’s life up to age 13 and yours. Analyze pressures that molded each of you.
RE-MOTHER YOURSELF
Consider “C,” a conflict in your love life–one that doesn’t involve the females that had charge of you when you were a kid.
Fantasize a MODEL MOM, perfect every way. She always cherishes the babe, child, teen, and adult within you. She adores your fantasy father and reacts always with archetypal maternal wisdom.
Portray her; tell your traits.
Tell your child (you) how you feel toward him or her.
Counsel your child how to relate to “C”. Hold the child close and let him or her feel your love, absorb your clarity.
Change back to you and get Mom’s gifts.
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* TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS guides you through experiences that help you:
* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control
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