Relationships, sex, tantra

TANTRA EXERCISE TO HEAL EACH OTHERS’ HURTS & SATISFY EACH OTHER: Do-It-Yourself or with Partners Experiential cues that immediately better your relationship

From TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS * by Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph.D. & Janet Kira Lessin

Imago for Polys*

Imago for everyone:

INTELLECTUAL UNDERSTANDING

Your imago** is internal and psychological part of you, whether you’re male or female, that makes you feel madly attracted to someone.

This imago (the inner self that tells you who to love) acts like an inner nurturer–Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister and Good Teacher combined.

Your imago makes you seek a lover like it, one (or more) who has what you loved about your caregivers. She or he also has what you hated about them. If you become lovers, this sweetheart can also hurt you like Mom and Dad did.

Still, your imago hopes, when it gets you and your lover to create scenes where she or he could hurt you again, she or he will do better than your parents. Then you’d start to heal.

Taken to its logical extension, you see people who manifest –albeit unconsciously–your own underdeveloped parts (suppressed subpersonalities or inner voices) within them.  It’s as though the universe is a mathematical balancer that makes you interested in those who show you behavior and attitudes you think you lack.  The charm of our attraction to them turns to upset when you feel vulnerable, needy or scared; then you become critical of the unacknowledged part of ourselves that other people show.  Apply this to relationships with lovers, own the disowned energy your lovers manifest as being among your options, and you’ll stop feeling critical of your lovers.

The partner you facilitate, your Receiver, seeks in you (or a lover you’ll represent) what s/he loved about his/her caregivers. You also represent what s/he hated about them. You can or the lover you represent can hurt him or her like they did or heal when you love instead of hurt her or him. In the exercise below, your Receiver experiences his or her Inner Child, the voice of his or her emotional reality. This part of your partner remembers every experience that touched him or her deeply. Treasure this child.

Heal The Hurts, the initial experience for the emotional-sharing part of a tantric date, sets the stage for deep emotional release and self-reprogramming during the climactic, sacred sector stimulation part of the date.

Read the cues to Heal Hurts to the Receiver; listen, mirror, validate and empathize. Your Receiver learns to trust you to listen later in the date when you massage her or his inner recesses so vulnerable and instinctual energies come out. When the Receiver responds to these cues, s/he also learns to say what s/he wants without masking reactions.

Heal Hurts teaches the Receiver to defuse over-reactions to you or the lover you represent and to manage emotional reactions based on the Receiver’s past so s/he doesn’t distance you or his or her lovers now based on what happened before. S/he learns to release pent-up feelings and rescript once-appropriate but now-limiting rules.

HEAL HURTS

When the Receiver responds to the cues that comprise Heal Hurts, s/he also learns to say what s/he wants without masking reactions. S/he requests healing behavior from you and asks you to affirm his or her new openness.

Read cues in CAPS aloud to the Receiver. Exception: read anything enclosed in square brackets [like this] silently.

If you’re poly, do this exercise with each of your partners, preferably witnessed in person or skype with each of your other lovers.

Sit facing a partner. Center yourself or move into a therapist role. Erect a psychic filter so you can avoid reacting to her or his content and stay present for her or his healing. Shield and center yourself in case s/he says you hurt, upset or frustrated her or him.

Where you need to respond, you’ll see this ###. Where you see ***, it’s her or his cue to respond: give her a few breaths’ time to do so. If s/he doesn’t respond, pause several breaths and read the cue again.

TELL ME ABOUT AN UPSET, FRUSTRATION, PROBLEM OR ISSUE YOU HAVE WITH ME, WITH YOUR CURRENT PARTNER OR WITH YOUR LAST LOVER, USING THIS FORMULA. “WHEN YOU … , I FEEL … AND REACT BY … TO HIDE MY FEAR OF … BECAUSE WHAT I REALLY WANT IS …” [Example, if needed, “When you … mock me, I feel … hurt and angry and react by… withdrawing or attacking to hide my fear of … being humiliated because what I really want is … respect.”]

“WHEN YOU … ***, [State upsetting behavior]

I FEEL … ***

AND REACT BY … ***

TO HIDE MY FEAR OF … ***

BECAUSE WHAT I REALLY WANT IS …” ***

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SAY ABOUT THAT? *** [When Receiver’s said as much as you can accurately remember, read the next cue.]

WAIT. LET ME KNOW IF I’M GETTING YOU RIGHT. YOU’RE SAYING … ### [Finish the sentence, summarizing in your own words (paraphrasing) what s/he said.]

[If s/he corrects you, paraphrase her corrections and ask if you’ve got them right till s/he says, “Correct.”]

[Continue paraphrasing and asking if there’s more until s/he fully expresses what s/he thinks and feels about what frustrates or upsets her. When Receiver says, “that’s all”, complete the next two sentences to her or him.]

YOU MAKE SENSE, BECAUSE … ### [Say how Receiver, if you put yourself into her or his head-space, makes sense.]

I IMAGINE YOU MUST FEEL … ###

IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE FEELING? ***

CLOSE YOUR EYES. RECALL A TIME IN YOUR CHILDHOOD WHEN A PARENT OR OTHER PERSON UPSET OR FRUSTRATED YOU THE WAY I DID. WHEN YOU RECALL SUCH A TIME, TELL ME YOUR AGE THEN. DESCRIBE THE SCENE AT THAT TIME IN THE PRESENT TENSE, AS THOUGH THE SCENE IS UNFOLDING NOW. ***

WHAT EMOTIONS DID YOU FEEL? ***

FEEL THOSE FEELINGS NOW. SINK INTO THEM. AMPLIFY THEM TILL THEY’RE INTENSE, THEN EXPRESS THE FEELINGS ALOUD TO YOUR PARENT (OR OTHER PERSON), AS THOUGH HE OR SHE WERE HERE AND YOU COULD SAY EVERYTHING WITHOUT RETALIATION. ***

WHAT DID YOU DECIDE AS A RESULT OF THIS UPSET? ***

WHAT DID YOU GAIN AS A RESULT OF THIS DECISION? ***

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THAT YOU DIDN’T DO? ***

PRETEND I’M YOUR … [mother/father/other person involved (Choose one)] IN THE UPSET.  WHAT IS LIVING WITH ME LIKE? ***

WHAT’S YOUR DEEPEST HURT WITH ME, YOUR MOTHER/FATHER/OTHER PERSON INVOLVED [Choose one] in the upset? ***

IMAGINE YOU GO BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, PERHAPS 5 YEARS OLD, BUT IT COULD BE YOUNGER OR OLDER. WAKE UP IN THE BED OR PLACE WHERE YOU SLEPT. WAKE INTO THE AWARENESS OF YOUR INNER, FEELING CHILD, THE VULNERABLE ONE UNDER WHATEVER PROTECTIVE ROLES YOU ALREADY LEARNED.

NOTICE THE ROOM FROM YOUR CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE. NOTICE THE DECORATIONS, TOYS, OTHER PEOPLE IN THE ROOM IN WHICH YOU WAKEN.

WANDER THROUGH YOUR HOUSE AND YARD. AS YOU DO, MEET EACH PERSON AND ANIMAL–MOM, DAD, STEPPARENTS, GRAMPS, SIBLINGS, NANNIES, KITTY AND ROVER, AS WELL AS EACH IMAGINARY PLAYMATE AND GHOST (IF YOU FELT THEM) WHO INFLUENCED YOU DEEPLY AS A CHILD. SEE EACH OF THEM MORE CLEARLY THAN EVER BEFORE. TELL ME WHO YOU SEE AND HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT EACH OF THEM. ***

TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKED AND DISLIKED ABOUT BEING WITH EACH OF THEM. ***

SAY WHAT YOU WANTED BUT DIDN’T GET FROM EACH OF THEM WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP. ***

TELL ME, FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF YOUR INNER CHILD, WHAT YOU ENJOYED WITH EACH OF THEM AS YOU WERE GROWING UP. ***

SAY WHAT SCARED, HURT AND MADE YOU ANGRY WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP. CRY IF YOU WISH. *** [Silently empathize with the feelings Receiver shares, as though they were your own experiences. Allow plenty of time.]

WHAT ELSE SCARED OR HURT YOU? ***

[IF YOU’RE YOUR PARTNER’S MATE, READ THIS SENTENCE (IF NOT, READ THE ALTERNATE SENTENCE BELOW.)] TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP YOU START HEALING THE HURTS YOU SHARED. SAY WHAT YOU WANT AND SPECIFIC THINGS I CAN DO AS A GIFT TO YOU TO HELP YOU HEAL. ***

[Alternate sentence, if you’re not your partner’s mate] What can your mate(s)/future mate(s) [Choose one] do to help you heal?” ***

[Everyone read this sentence to partner] LET ME KNOW IF I’M GETTING YOU RIGHT. YOU’RE SAYING … ###

CORRECT ME, IF I DIDN’T GET YOU EXACTLY RIGHT. *** [Finish the sentence, paraphrasing (saying in your own words) what Receiver’s been saying.]

[Paraphrase again ###, if you’re corrected.]

[Sentences for mates only to read:] I’LL DO IT THIS WEEK; I’LL GIFT YOU WITH … ### [SAY WHAT YOU’LL DO; OR, IF THE BEHAVIORS RECEIVER ASKS OF YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU NOW, SAY,] “GIVE ME OTHER OPTIONS THAT’LL MAKE YOUR INNER CHILD START HEALING THE HURTS. ***

[Say which option you’ll take. ###]

[Everyone read the rest of the sentences to your partner] NOW IMAGINE, YOU RETURN TO YOUR CHILDHOOD SLEEPING PLACE AND FALL ASLEEP THERE. DREAM YOU’RE GROWN UP, AND DOING AN EXERCISE FROM PSYCHOLOGY OF TANTRIC HEALING CLASS IN WHICH I’M HOLDING YOU AS YOU EXPLORE YOUR INNER CHILD. GRADUALLY WAKE UP, MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME.

LET MY ARMS REPRESENT YOUR IDEAL MOTHER/FATHER’S CAPACITY TO LOVE AND ENCOURAGE YOU. MY VOICE’LL SPEAK FOR HER/HIM–TELLING YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR, WORDS TO HELP HEAL OLD HURTS THAT LIMIT YOU MORE THAN YOU WANT. [Gently hold partner]

IMAGINE YOU’RE SMALL–YOU’RE [PARTNER’S NAME]’S INNER CHILD–AND I’M YOUR IDEAL MOTHER/FATHER. ABSORB THESE SENTENCES IN YOUR CHILD PSYCHE [ Based on Rosenberg, J., Body, Self & Soul: Sustaining Integration, Atlanta: Humanics, 1985.]

“I LOVE YOU. I WANT AND CHERISH YOU; YOU’RE SPECIAL TO ME.

“I FEEL, HEAR AND SEE YOU.

“YOU’RE SAFE; I’LL PROTECT YOU.

“I’LL LOOK AFTER YOU, TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.

“MY LOVE MAKES YOU WELL.

“I SOMETIMES, FROM LOVE, I SAY, `NO’.

“TRUST ME.

“I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.

“I LOVE WHO YOU ARE. AND I’M PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE, WHATEVER YOU DO.

“ I LOVE YOUR LOOKS. I ENJOY YOUR INTELLIGENCE. YOUR CREATIVITY DELIGHTS ME.

“I WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOUR BODY. I WANT YOU TO SAVOR YOUR SEXUALITY AND ENJOY TOUCHING YOUR GENITALS.

“MENSTRUATING IS A JOYOUS MIRACLE.. [For woman Receiver]

“I love you whether you’re like me or different.

“You can love many.

“FOLLOW YOUR INNER VOICE.

“DO IT. YOU CAN.”

TELL ME ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE ME, AS YOUR IDEAL MOM\DAD TO SAY? *** [Say it.]

NOW OPEN YOUR EYES. SEE ME, YOUR PARTNER.

TELL ME WHAT I, YOUR PARTNER, CAN DO TO ENCOURAGE AND NURTURE YOUR INNER CHILD RIGHT NOW. ***

NOW I’M STEPPING OUT OF ROLEPLAYING. I’M YOUR GIVER, YOUR TANTRIC HEALER AGAIN.

TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED FROM ME (OR YOUR LOVERS) TO HELP YOU START HEALING THE HURTS YOU SHARED. SAY WHAT YOU DESIRE; GIVE FIVE HEALING SERVICES–SPECIFIC BEHAVIORS I OR A LOVER CAN DO THIS WEEK AS A GIFT TO YOU TO MEET YOUR DESIRE. I’LL WRITE THEM OUT FOR YOU. ***

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[If you are indeed the Receiver’s lover, say] I’LL PERFORM THE 5 HEALING SERVICES. THIS WEEK AT THESE TIMES, I’LL GIFT YOU WITH … ### [say what you’ll do; or, if a behavior s/he asks is impossible for you now, say,].

GIVE ME ANOTHER OPTION (I CAN AGREE TO) THAT ADDRESSES THE SAME FRUSTRATION. ###

FINISH THIS SENTENCE: “WHEN YOU GIFT ME WITH THE FIVE HEALING SERVICES, I’LL SHRINK MY FEAR OF …; THEN I’LL FEEL … ***

[Guide Receiver to Reparent Her- or Himself]

“IMAGINE AN IDEAL PARENT. AN IDEAL PARENT FEELS, ALWAYS FELT, AND WILL ALWAYS FEEL ABOUT YOUR INNER CHILD THE WAY THE CHILD NEEDS AND SAYS WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD NEEDS TO HEAR. INVOKE YOUR IDEAL PARENT THEN MOVE TO A NEW SEAT, A SEAT FOR YOU TO ENACT IDEAL PARENT. ON THIS SEAT, EMBODY, ENACT, BECOME IDEAL MOTHER/FATHER. WHICH ARE YOU?

HI, GLAD TO MEET YOU, [Receiver’s name]’s Ideal Mother/Father [choose]. TELL ME YOUR MAIN ATTRIBUTES, QUALITIES AND CHARACTERISTICS. HOW DO YOU, INNER PARENT, FEEL AND ACT TOWARD [HER OR HIS NAME]’S INNER CHILD? WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO CONSIDER IN LOVE AND SEX?

THANK YOU; I ENJOYED MEETING YOU. LET RETURN TO HER ORIGINAL SEAT. SEPARATE FROM YOUR IDEAL PARENT.”

NOW LET’S CHANGE ROLES; YOU READ THE CUES TO ME AND I’LL RESPOND. [do it]

** Hendrix, H., 1988, Getting the Love You Want
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* ALL-CHAKRA TANTRA: SYNERGIZED SACRED & PSYCHOLOGICAL EXERCISES FOR INNER CHILDREN, VOLUPTUARIES, HEROS, ROMANTICS, VISIONARIES, & SAGES


TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS guides you through experiences that help you:

* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your subself shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control

Also by the Lessins”

*TEACH TANTRA


 

 

 

 

 

In this easy-to-read, fully-illustrated manual, you learn to teach lovers and seekers how to:

* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexualloving
* Delve dreams and pastlives
* Worship women and gratify guys

THE LESSINS: HOLISTIC-LOVING GUIDES

SASHA ALEX LESSIN, PH.D. (U.C.L.A.) taught Sex Education in the University of Hawaii School of Medicine, Leeward Community College and the Professional School for Psychological Studies. He served as Director of Counseling at the Waikiki Drug Center and has counseled relationships, guided spiritual journeywork and taught tantra for over forty years.

JANET KIRA LESSIN, naturally tantric, joined Sasha as his co-teacher and presenter and together they developed, All-Chakra Tantra as Janet worked through her sexual abuse traumas and learned how to facilitate others’ reprogramming.

The LESSINS taught Tantra at Maui Community College, World Polyamory Association, World Tantra Association conferences, the School of Tantra on Maui and The Phoenix Goddess Temple.

They’ve appeared on numerous TV shows and on hundreds of radio shows and have written 10 books and counting.

https://wp.me/p1TVCy-5hv for experientials to uplevel your relationship.

*IMAGO CLEARING FOR THE POLYAMOROUS

For your potential or extant triad, Julia, Steven and Hillary (made-up names) as examples:

Your imago (the inner self that tells you who to love) acts like an inner parent.  The imago is like Mom, Dad, Sis and Teacher combined.The imago makes sure you want people like it.  Loves you want now have what you loved in your caregivers, they also have what you hated about your parents.   These loves can hurt you like Mom and Dad. Your lovers can help you heal because your imago identifies them with the parents who wounded you.  In the experiences we suggest below your partners take you through the childhood wounding exercise so they can feel how wounded you were.  In the experiences, HEAL THE HURTS, you see how your childhood experiences and the protective voices you developed trigger some of your current upsets, problems, frustrations and issues. When your lovers empathize with the pain and fear you felt since you were young, they understand why you adapted your defenses.  Then they do what you ask so you can heal. You consciously construct a more helpful imago, divided for inner dialogue into an ideal mother and father.  Your ideal parents become new inner voices who urge you to let your poly lovers nurture you and encourage you to grow.

              HEAL JULIA’S HURTS                                                                                                                                                         Heal her Hurts also establishes your triad as a safe place to explore feelings and process emotions. The giving partners take turns reading the cues of Heal Her Hurts to the Receiver while the other poly partners listen.  I suggest Julia be the first Receiver.  Steven and Hillary take turns listening, mirroring and validating Julia’s responses to successive cues.   This lets the Julia learn she can trust each of you to listen later in the date when you massage her intimately.  If she has this trust, she can share pain, anger and sexuality as you trigger memories and scripts she needs to feel, express and drop.  Then she can fully enjoy poly lovemaking.            

 Heal Her Hurts teaches her to defuse over-reactions to you and to manage emotional reactions based on her past so she doesn’t distance you now based on what happened before.  She learns to release pent-up feelings and rescript once-appropriate but now-limiting rules. 

 When the Receiver responds to the cues that comprise Heal Her Hurts, she also learns to say what she wants without masking her reactions.  She requests healing behavior from each of you and asks you to affirm her new openness.

Givers alternate turns reading cues in bold type aloud to the Receiver.   Exception: read anything enclosed in square brackets [like this] silently.

Receiver lies across the Steven and Hillary’s laps.  Steven and Hillary, center yourselves into therapist roles.  Erect a psychic filter so you can avoid reacting to Julia’s content and stay present for her healing.  Shield and center yourselves in case she says one of you hurt, upset or frustrated her.

Where you need to respond, you’ll see this  ###.   Where you see ***, it’s her cue to respond.

Steven: Tell us about an UPSET, frustration, problem or issue you have with me using this formula.  “When you … , I feel … and react by … to hide my fear of … because what I really want is …”   [Example, if needed, “When you … mock me, I feel … hurt and angry and react by… withdrawing or attacking to hide my fear of… being humiliated because what I really want is … respect.”]

  “When you  …  ***, [State upsetting behavior]

   I feel …  ***

  and react by …  ***

  to hide my fear of …  ***

because what I really want is …”  ***

Is there anything else you’d like to say about that?   ***

[When Julia’s said as much as you remember, read the next cue.]

  Hillary:  Wait.   Let us know if we’re getting you right.   You’re saying …  ###   [Finish the sentence, summarizing in your own words (paraphrasing) what she said.]

[If she corrects you, paraphrase her corrections and ask if you’ve got them right until she says, “Correct.”]

[Continue paraphrasing and asking if there’s more until she expresses what she thinks and feels about what frustrates or upsets her.  When she says that’s all, complete the next two sentences to her.]

You make sense, because …  ###    [Say how she, if you put yourself into her head-space, makes sense.]

I imagine you must feel …   ### 

Is that what you’re feeling?  ***

Steven:  Close your eyes.  Recall in your CHILDHOOD when a parent or other person upset or frustrated you the way I (or any of us, a lover who isn’t here now [choose the frustration-agent the receiver indicated]) did.  When you recall such a time, tell us your age then.  Describe the scene at that time in the present tense, as though the scene is unfolding now.  ***

What emotions did you feel?  ***

Feel those feelings now.   Sink into them.  Amplify them till they’re intense, then EXPRESS the feelings aloud to your parent (or other person), as though he or she were here and you could say everything without retaliation.  ***

What did you decide as a result of this upset?  ***

What did you gain as a result of this decision?  ***

Hillary: Imagine you go back to WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, perhaps 5 years old, but it could be younger or older.  Wake up in the bed or place where you slept.  Wake into the awareness of your inner, feeling Child, the vulnerable one under whatever protective roles you already learned. 

Notice the room from your Child’s perspective.  Notice the decorations, toys, other people in the room in which you waken.

Wander through your house and yard.  As you do, meet each person and animal–Mom, Dad, stepparents, Gramps, siblings, nannies, Kitty and Rover, as well as each imaginary playmate and ghost (if you felt them) who influenced you deeply as a child.  See each of them more clearly than ever before.  Tell us who you see and HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT EACH of them. ***

Tell me what you LIKED AND DISLIKED about being with each of them.  ***

Say what you wanted but DIDN’T GET from each of them when you were growing up.  ***            

 Tell me, from the perspective of your Inner Child, what you ENJOYED with each of them as you were growing up.  ***       

Steven: Say what SCARED, HURT AND MADE YOU ANGRY when you were growing up.  You may cry if you wish.  ***  [Silently empathize with the feelings your partner shares, as though they were your own experiences.  Allow plenty of time.]

What else scared or hurt you? ***

Let our arms represent your Ideal Mother’s and/Father’s capacity to love and encourage you.  Our voices’ll speak for them–telling you what you need to hear, words to help heal old hurts that limit you more than you want. [Gently hold her]

Imagine you’re small–you’re Julia’s Inner Child–and we’re your Ideal Mother and Father.  Absorb these sentences in your child psyche [Steven and Hillary, you each read the sentance, so Julia gets to heareach sentence in both a male and female voice]

                             “I love you.  I want and cherish you; you’re special to me. 

                             “I feel, hear and see you.

                             “You’re safe; I’ll protect you.

                             “I’ll look after you, take good care of you.

                             “My love makes you well.

                             “I sometimes, from love, I say, `No’.

                             “Trust me.         

                             “I’m always here for you.

                             “I love who you are.  And I’m proud of who you are, whatever you do.

                             “ I love your looks.  I enjoy your intelligence.  Your creativity delights me.

                             “I want you to enjoy your body, to savor your sexuality and enjoy touching your genitals.

                              “Menstruating is a joyous miracle.”

                             “I love you whether you’re like me or different. 

                             “You can love many.

                             “Follow your inner voice.

                             “Do it.  You can.”

                             Tell me anything else you’d like me, as your Ideal Mom\Dad to say?  ***  [Say it.]

                             Now open your eyes.  See me, your partner. 

                             Tell me what I can do to encourage and nurture your inner child right now. ***

Now We’re I’m stepping out of roleplaying.   We’re your Givers again.

Steven: Tell us, Julia,  what you need from each of us to help you start healing the hurts you shared.  Say what you desire; give five healing services–specific behaviors we can do this week as a gift to you to meet your desires.   We’ll write them out for you.  ***         

Tell us five things Steven and I can do to help you start healing the hurts you shared.  Say what you want and specific THINGS WE CAN DO as a gift to you to help you heal. ***

We’ll write them for you.  ***
[1]         

[2]

[3]

4]

[5]

We’ll perform the 5 healing services.  This week at these times, we’ll gift you with … ###   [Each of you say what you’ll do; or, if a behavior she asks is impossible for you now, say,].   Give us another option (we can agree to) that addresses the same frustration.   ###

Hillary: Finish this sentence: “When you gift me with the five healing services, I’ll shrink my fear of … ; then I’ll feel …  ***[Next, you guide your partner to reparent him/herself]

 “Imagine an Ideal Parent.  An Ideal Parent feels, always felt, and will always feel about your Inner Child the way the Child needs and says what your Inner Child needs to hear.  Invoke your Ideal Paren

 Sit and then move to a new seat, a seat for you to enact Ideal Parent.  On this seat, embody, enact, become Ideal Mother/Father.  Which are you?  ***

Hi, glad to meet you, Julia’s Ideal Mother/Father [choose].  Tell me your main attributes, qualities and characteristics. ***

How do you, Inner Parent, feel and act toward Julia’s Inner Child?  ***

What do you want him/her to consider in this triadic situation? ***

Thank you; we enjoyed meeting you.  Let…. return to his/her original seat.  Separate from your Ideal Parent.”

Steven: LEARN FROM YESTERDAY’S LOVES. 

Talk about each of your past lovers. For each: say

               the years you related,

              your age at each time and

              where you were.  

              Describe the key events

              Say the emotions and sensations you shared.  

              Remember aloud your sexual satisfaction, or the lack of it.

              Close your eyes. 

Hillary: One-by-one, imagine each former lover on a cushion before you.  Your partners witness you as, you imagine each former lover sits in front of you. 

 Toward each lover you invoke, express, even exaggerate, as though he or she sits before you, express your:

 longing

withheld feelings

resentments

demands

appreciations

forgiveness.

Say what you learned from being together.

Forgive yourself. 

Bid the former lover farewell.

Fantasize reliving each relationship better.  Tell us what you fantasize.

What do these revisions tell you about how to improve your relationships with each of us? 

Commit to, this week, making this improvement.

We’ll say what we learned from listening to you ###.

REPEAT THIS PROCEDURE WITH HILLARY, THEN STEVEN AS RECEIVER.

 

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