From TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS* by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra & Janet Kira Lessin, CEO, Aquarian Radio
Use Voice Dialogue centering to access, own and integrate our shadow and spiritual selves–our less known inner voices (also known as personality aspects, roles, subselves, subpersonalities, egos). We center when we hold the tension between opposed inner voices. Centered, we recognize, embrace and coordinate our protective, vulnerable, instinctual and spiritual subselves. Centering’s easier when we review how we develop our many inner selves.
DEVELOPMENT OF INNER VOICES
As a baby and a kid we needed our parents’ love to survive, get along and feel okay. We imprinted our neediness; part of us, our VULNERABLE CHILD, stays needy forever.
The Child within always feels things with its heart. It remembers everything it ever felt. It remains sensitive to every change and nuance around it. The Child contributes or withdraws warmth as we relate to others. It’s the part that tells we who we can trust and when to leave painful situations we can’t change. But the Child can feel insecure. Other people can easily scare, shame or hurt it. Far too sensitive to live and make decisions in the world, the Child needs protection.
So we developed PROTECTIVE inner VOICES to make people approve of us. Protective voices tell we how to get what we want. They say what to do and avoid so people, especially our family, won’t scorn, shun, neglect, punish or abuse us.
Protective voices hide our inner instinctual voices–our selfish, sexual and angry voices from other people and even from ourselves. If our parents dislike our psychic, spiritual, creative or archetypal voices, we hide these voices too. We disown the impulses the hidden instinctual and spiritual voices press we to express. The voices we disown, collectively comprise our SHADOW.
The voices comprising our shadow, built from the attitudes of our parents, differ from the shadow voices of other people. If our parents suppressed, for example, our Inner Bard, our Bard becomes a shadow voice. If, on the other hand, they honored our Bard, and taught we to disown our Inner Sexy Side, the Sexy Side would enter the shadow while our Bard might become a primary self.
The shadow anger, sexuality, creativity and spirituality we repress sensitize us to angry, sexy, creative and spiritual expression in other people. When we perceive others as lusty, aggressive, artistic or saintly, we feel critical or admiring of this expression in them.
Protective voices, like our Pleaser, Thinker, Pusher, Critic, or even Rebel distract us. We forget we feel vulnerable, scared, insecure, hurt. We forget we feel angry, sexy, creative or spiritual–we forget our shadow and we forget our Child.
EVOLVE A CENTER
Hal and Sidra Stone suggest we see ourselves as broader than our Reasoner, Pusher, Critic and other protective voices. Value these voices as parts of us. Recognize and respect protective voices and feel the Child, and the shadow voices too. Then we feel most alive and make contact with other people.
We grow in consciousness, according to the Stones, when we simultaneously consider the Child’s needs, the needs of the disowned shadow voices and the needs of the protective voices. From our Center, which the Stones call our “Aware Ego”, we can share as much of our vulnerability, creativity, sexuality and assertion as we choose for any situation. From our Center, we reveal enough vulnerability to connect intimately without becoming too open. And, from our Center, we use protective, instinctual, creative and spiritual voices enough to be powerful. As an Aware Ego, we balance vulnerability, power, instinctuality and spirituality.
VOICE DIALOGUE CENTERING STEPS
We identify alternate personalities. We change chairs and speak as our various voices.
First, we take an initial position, that it’ll be the place for our Aware Ego, the place to hear our inner voices.
We talk about the voices active in us lately (like Intellect, Critic, Pleaser, Pusher), the ones we show the world and ones we feel inside.
We choose one of our public voices. Say what this voice is like and what it does for us.
Then we shift to a position for the voice we’ve chosen to focus upon. Embody that voice and say who, as that self, we are and what we do for the whole person we are.
As this self, we say when we came out in full and our subsequent History as this subself. We say how, as this voice, we protect other, vulnerable subselves. We tell the contributions we make and what we’d like to be acknowledged and appreciated for.
Then we return to the Aware Ego position and go through this dialogue procedure with the other voices that we and our protective selves agree to express.
Next, we stand in the Awareness and summarize what our subselves said. Impartially–without any need to decide anything–feel the energy of each of ourselves.
Then we return to the Discerning Center (Aware Ego) position and feel ourselves able to simultaneously feel and appreciate all the voices we embody. We feel our ability, in this position, to make appropriate choices, taking all our voices into consideration.
Here’s a Do-It-Yourself or Do-it-With-Partners experiential exercise for you to perform that’ll make your life and relationships better.
CONSULT CRITIC, COMFORT KID & SATISFY SEXY SELF Do-It-Yourself or Do-it-With-Partners
Place several cushions nearby.
Read your partner the cues in bold aloud. Read and do what’s in square brackets [ ] silently. Let you partner respond out loud where you see ***. Where you see ###, you speak. Then read the bold print below aloud.
Sit on this cushion. It’s the seat for your CENTER, where you hear your inner voices.
Move from the seat you’re on to another. Imagine, as you move, you embody your Critic–an inner voice that sees what you’re doing well and encourages improvements and prioritized plans.
[Wait till s/he physically moves] Aloha, Critic. Tell me how you serve [partner’s name] in relationships and sexual situations. ***
If you totally dictated [partner’s name]’s lovelife, how and with whom would s/he relate sexually? ***
What limits do you put on [partner’s name] in sexual relations? ***
When did you emerge in [partner’s name]’s life? Describe the situation or circumstances that first and subsequently brought you our strongly. ***
What, Critic, was your job? ***
Tell me, Critic, what does [partner’s name] do sexually and in love relations that shames or upsets you? ***
What’s the worst things that can happen to [partner’s name] in lover/sexual relationships? ***
How do you protect her/him from pain, shame and worst things? ***
What contributions do you, Critic, make to how [partner’s name] relates to lovers or potential lovers? ***
How, from your perspective, has [partner’s name] improved with lovers? ***
How can s/he improve more? ***
What is the first, small improvement s/he can make? ***
What’s a reasonable timetable for her/him to make it? ***
Thanks, Critic. Now let [partner’s name] return to her/his original seat, the Center’s place.
[Wait till s/he physically moves] Take time to separate from your Critic and center yourself.
As Center (also called Aware Ego), discuss the experience of speaking as your Critic. ***
Move from the seat you’re on to another. Imagine, as you move to the new seat that you become your INNER CHILD, the vulnerable part that feels everything your lovers say and do as you make love and talk, the part that knows if other people are in touch with their own inner playful, sensitive, magic Kids.
As [partner’s name]’s Child, say what you’re like. ***
What, Child, does [partner’s name] do that frightens you? ***
What does [partner’s name] do that lets you feel playful ? ***
What does [partner’s name] do that brings out your magical, psychic, creative aspects? ***
Tell [partner’s name], Child, what you feel about the way s/he conducts her/his loves. ***
If you, Child, controlled [partner’s name] lovelife, how would you have her/him conduct it? * **
How would you like [partner’s name] to make sure you feel secure, safe and healthy? ***
Name the people here, whom you sense are in conscious touch with their Inner Kids. ***
Which of the people here, whom you sense are in touch with their Inner Kids would you like [partner’s name] to get close to? ***
Thank you. Now let [partner’s name] disidentify with–stop enacting–you, Child. Separate from Child.
Return to your original seat. [Wait till s/he moves] As yourself, [partner’s name], the Center, comment on the experience of roleplaying, then disidentifying with Child? ***
Move to a new seat and become the inner voice of your unrestrained, divine sexuality–your INNER TANTRICA.
As [partner’s name]’s Tantrica, say what you’re like and what contributions you make to her/him? ***
If you, Tantrica, ruled [partner’s name], heedless of other voices, what sexual acts would you have [partner’s name] do with whom? ***
Thank you. Now let [partner’s name] move you offstage Tantrica.
Separate from Tantrica. Return to your original seat. [Wait till s/he moves] As yourself, [partner’s name], the Center, comment on the experience of identifying, then disidentifying with Tantrica? ***
Thanks. Now, move to this [a different cushion]. Become a sexually conservative inner voice–your Nun, Monk or Celibate. As [ partner’s name]’s INNER CONSERVATIVE, say what you’re like. ***
How do you want [ partner’s name] sexually? ***
Why, in terms of her/his overall good, do you want that? ***
Tell me, Conservative, what you feel about the way s/he conducts her/his loves. ***
Thank you. Now let [ partner’s name] separate from you, Conservative.
Return to your original seat, the place for your Center. [Wait till s/he moves] As yourself, [ partner’s name], the Center, comment on the experience of becoming, then disidentifying with Conservative? ***
Stand behind me now. Become a neutral observer, an unemotional Witness. As I review the main things your Critic, Child, Tantrica and Conservative said, sense the energy of each of these. ### [Summarize what your partner said in each voice.]
Now return from standing in the Witness position to the seat for [partner’s name], the Center.
As Center, embrace, modulate, choreograph, conduct, direct, coordinate, and simultaneously co-counsel Critic, Child, Conservative and Tantrica. Feel each in your body.
Imagine and tell me a sexual situation you might get into. ***
Imagine, in the situation you describe, Tantrica’s aroused. Conservative worries, “ What’ll people think if you seem so sexy?” Critic future-paces improvements you’d need next time if Tantrica rules this time.
As Center, feel Conservative, Critic, Child and Tantrica at the same time. You, Center, named, [partner’s name], recognize, accept, coordinate and synthesize the caution, reflection, vulnerability and sensuality of your Conservative, Critic, Child and Tantrica. You are the chooser, the decider, the CEO, the conductor of your own inner chorus.
*Inspired by Stone, H. and S., 1989, Embracing Our Selves, New World Library.
* Based on Stone, H., and Winkleman, S., Embracing Our Selves, New World Library, 1989; The Child Within, Delos Tapes: Albion, 1991.
* * TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS guides you through experiences that help you:
* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your subself shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts
* Encourage female ejaculation
* Master male ejaculatory control
TEACH TANTRA is a manual for you to experience advanced tantra, teach it to others and, optionally, attain certification as a tantra teacher.
You learn to teach lovers and seekers how to:
* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexual-loving
* Delve dreams and past lives
* Worship women and gratify guys
THE LESSINS: HOLISTIC-LOVING GUIDES SASHA ALEX LESSIN, PH.D. (U.C.L.A.) taught Sex Education at the University of Hawaii School of Medicine, Leeward Community College and the Professional School for Psychological Studies. He served as Director of Counseling at the Waikiki Drug Center and has counseled relationships, guided spiritual journeywork and taught tantra for over forty years.
JANET KIRA LESSIN, naturally tantric, joined Sasha as his co-teacher and presenter and together they developed, All-Chakra Tantra as Janet worked through her sexual abuse traumas and learned how to facilitate others’ reprogramming.
The LESSINS taught Tantra at Maui Community College, World Polyamory Association, World Tantra Association conferences, the School of Tantra on Maui and The Phoenix Goddess Temple. They’ve appeared on numerous TV shows and on hundreds of radio shows and have written 10 books and counting.