Relationships self-help sex tantra


RUB ME RIGHT by Janet Kira Lessin


I thought the G-Spot, meant the “God Spot”, the place where the right touch made you yell, “Oh, God!” Then I learned M.D.s say Ernst Grafenberg discovered the G-spot, an area of tissue doctors also call the Aurethral sponge; it’s tissue wrapping the tube from the bladder to the vagina.  G swells with blood you touch her right. Grafenberg denies he discovered anything new. The area initialed after him, he writes, has been known as “yoni nadi” for thousands of years in ancient India. 

 Yoni Nadis/G-spots vary in their anatomic locale within the vagina. But you can usually find a woman’s “G” one to four inches inside the anterior wall of the vagina.  Over time, through stimulus generalization, the “spot” spreads to more and more of the vagina (yoni), until its whole top vibrates orgasmically and her urthera releases sweet liquid.

Over time, through stimulus generalization, the “spot” spreads to more and more of the vagina (yoni), until its whole top vibrates orgasmically and her urthera releases sweet liquid.

Female Ejaculation Isn’t a Goal.

When a woman doesn’t ejaculate, she may have been traumatized or abused.  Her emotional wound keeps her from letting go sexually or emotionally opening up in relationships. Holding back’s okay. A woman’s defenses came into place in her being for a divine reason known only to her and her psyche and are there to protect her and maintain her integrity. The inner voice (subpersonality)she developed to deal with her trauma helped her cope then and needs to be part of her repertoire now. Honor her defenses. The time, place and people and the place must be safe for her, to ejaculate, so create the container for this sacred event.

In tantric loving, we are goalless, enjoying the present.  This detachment from result helps provide a safe situation for a woman to open herself to ejaculate.  G-Spot ejaculation’s extremely personal, intense and vulnerable for both toucher and receiver.  Yoni This sacred ritual deserves to be honored and respected and not put into the arena of a circus show.  Getting a woman to ejaculate is not an indicator of a man’s sexual prowess and a woman’s ability to ejaculate is not yet another area where women can compare themselves and feel inferior to a man or even other women.


Excerpt from Dr. Sasha Lessin’s instructions in Tantra for All Chakras:


Help the woman who’ll be the first Receiver relax in a private, non-interruptable space.  Tell her, Let’s look at what your life’s like at this time in your life.”

[Respond to what she answers  to the questions blow with, “Thank you,” or summarize what she says and ask if you’ve got her right.  In your words, restate what she says needs correction. If she expresses emotion, empathize aloud.]

What concerns you most nowadays? ***

What do you intend to experience in the tantric healing and yoni-pleasuring ritual I offer you? ***        

Tell me your fears and reservations. ***       

Say your boundaries with me at this time. ***        


Now I’m going to touch you different ways to remind you of the many touch options you have.  I’ll take ten minutes to stroke, knead, tap, rub, lightly pinch, scratch, slap, massage, kiss, gently bite and lick your inner forearm.  You respond  with sounds to indicate your reactions to the touches.  You practice commands, “Yes,” “No,” “More pressure,”  “Lighter,” “Slower,” “Hold,” and  “Stop.”[With three or more pressures, stroke, knead, tap, rub, lightly pinch, scratch, slap, massage, kiss, gently bite and lick her inner forearm. ] ***                   


I’ll shower again, re-brush my teeth, apply scents you like and clean my nails again.  [If, Giver, you’re a beardless male, shave again, till you can run your tongue over the skin around your lips without feeling stubble.] then you bathe. I’ll, wash and admire you. 

[Bath and dry her.  Compliment  her  physical features.  Suck and tongue-tickle her  big toes while you gaze into her eyes.  Help her into her goddess attire.]

Thanks for letting me worship and adore you.  May I again undress you, garment by garment, drink in your divine contours, admire your features, say what I like about how you look and feel? ***

[Laud her looks aloud.]

I love serving you.  I relish relating this intimately.  May my caresses cure hurts I and others caused you.  May our hearts unite and we become one with the Universe.  

What words have you to consecrate the worship I offer your Inner Feminine, your loving, sensual, sexual self? [Give her time to answer.] ***

Lie on your back [indicate bed or futon].

[Touch her heart with your right palm and rest her right hand on your heart.  Place your left hand atop her right. ] Put your left hand on my right hand.  Look into my left eye.


May I massage you?”  ***

[If she consents, have her lie on her belly.  Tug her toes.

Rub her soles and each leg’s back.  Massage her fingers, palms, arms.  Then do her back and her bottom.

Help her turn over onto her back again.  Massage her feet again.

Dance your fingers atop her feet, hands, arms and legs.

Brush her labia and nipples as you glide your hands over her torso.

Massage her belly; pull the rectus muscles from side to side.  Trace the ascending, transverse and descending colon clockwise.

Massage her face and head.

Stroke and knead her gracilis muscles (inner side, each leg) where they insert in her pelvis, next to her clitoris’ roots.

Press your fingers into the muscles above her pubic bone.]


May I touch your Love Temple?  *** 


[If she says yes, rest your left hand on her HEART.  Hold your right hand over her yoni, almost but not quite making physical contact.]

[Send a love-beam from your eyes into her left eye.]

[Three times, breathe in and out at the same time she does, Then settle your hand on her mons.  Imagine you together bring your sexual energy through your right hand on her mons into it.  From her mons, the energy you send, imagine, rises through her belly, to her heart.]

I love you.  Feel our hearts connect and energy vibrate between us.  Let the Love Goddess attend your sexual shrine as we explore your yoni love-shrine.

I send you love as I breathe out; breathe it in, inhale my love.              

[Exhale, then draw your navel back toward your spine.  Then pull your sucked-in belly up.  Squeeze your pubococcygeal and anal sphincter muscles.  Imagine you fountain energy from your tailbone, up your spine, through your heart and out your right hand into her vagina. When you inhale, feel the energy you sent her move from her heart into your left hand.]

[Keep your right hand on her yoni, your eyes on hers.  Move your left hand to her CROWN.]

I invite the Love Goddess to enter your Crown, wherein dwell love’s spiritual aspects.  Flow her energy through your Central Flute to your Yoni-Shrine.

[Breathe in and out with her three times.]

[Move your left hand to her BROW chakra]

Let your sexual thoughts and visions clarify what you experience as I worship you at your yoni-shrine.  

[Breathe simultaneously with her three times]

May the Wisdom Goddess respond as we explore your yoni.

[Move your left hand behind her neck. Eye-gaze, share three breaths]

Connect your throat with your Divine Communicator, who may sing, sound and say whatever she’s moved to share as we explore your sacred sexual grotto. ***

[Place your left hand next on her belly. Take three breaths with her.]

May your empowered Heroine attend the rites at the Aphrodite’s Shrine, your sexual chakra.

[Rest your left hand on her perineum, share three breaths]

May the Divine Child within you bring playfulness, magic and emotional openness to your genitals for the sacred ceremony. 

Relax on your back. Breathe deeply.  Let me gaze into your eyes.

Would you let me fondle your clitoris through its hood? 

[If she says yes, say] Direct me with sounds and words; give me feedback while I stroke. ***

[Caress her outer labia.  Pet her clitoral hood around the crown–the pearl.  Don’t stimulate her clitoral crown yet.  When her outer vaginal lips swell and reveal the inner lips, trace circles, spirals, horizonals, verticals, diagonals and figure-eights on them with your fingers. Alternate long, short, inventive, sensitive and playful strokes.  Tap, knead and gently pinch the hood and labia ten or fifteen minutes.

[When the inner labia also swell, say]

Would you like me to polish your pearl?  (pearl = clitoral crown). ***

[If says yes, honor her yoni with your mouth and tongue.  Blow on her external genitals.  Plant baby kisses on her clitoris.]


[Twill your tongue round her clitoral crown and lick her labia.  Lap into her yoni while you gaze into her eyes.  Salivate generously; lubricate her opening.  Love her with your lips and tongue for twenty to thirty minutes.]

[As you pleasure her  external genitals with your mouth tongue and fingers, move your head from side to side; alternate stretching out on your belly withdrawing your knees under you to prevent back and neck pain.  Either pain can distract you from your role as Guide.]

I’d like to enter your sacred cave with this (right ring) finger. Would you like me to? ***                 

[If she agrees, lick your finger so it’s moist (or use an internal lubricant like Probe or neem oil).  Rest your ring finger pad just inside her vaginal opening.]

Pull my finger in. 

[When you feel her vaginal muscles pulse on your finger, let her pull your finger into her cave.]


[Touch inside her yoni’s left side with your right ringfinger; use your left ringfinger to map the yoni’s right side.]

Say which spots you touch feel good, which feel painful, burn and which lack feeling. ***

[Keep your mouth on her clitoris and with your right ringfinger, touch each centimeter of her yoni’s left half.  First, touch the very top (12 o’clock position) and touch down the left wall to the bottom (6 o’clock).  At each spot, hold your finger still for three breaths and focus on where your fingertip touches her inner flesh.]

Focus on each spot inside I touch at several different degrees of pressure.  Let me know how you react to my touch on each.

[Remember which spots give her pleasure. When you touch a point that hurts, burns or feels numb, follow the directions in “Coach Catharsis” (below).]

[After you’ve touched the outermost inner skin on all the loci, re-touch the same spots but put more pressure through your finger, so the touch becomes subcutaneous.  Then trace the throbbing path of the tread-like veins that run through this  side of her cave.  Next, press deeper and feel of her arteries beat.  Then press each spot to the ligaments and bones beneath.]

[When you’ve together mapped the left side of her yoni, remove your right ring finger, wet your left ring finger in your mouth, put this finger into her yoni and map the right side of her sacred cave, again noting the places that give her pleasure and those that do not.]

Free associate.  Say whatever you think or picture. ***

Relive times you closed down sexually, times you snuffed your feelings.  Fantasize. ***

Allow pastlife memories.***  

[She may yell, cry, laugh or make strange sounds.]

Let your feelings out, Sweetheart. ***          

[Hold her while she screams, sobs and confronts each person she thinks hurt or neglected her.]

[If she’s angry at you, say:]
Say it louder.  Show me how mad I make you.*** [Stay centered.]

[If she relates times people hurt and humiliated or traumatized her, say:]

Let’s redo those situations.  I play your perp, but reformed to give you a better program. *** ###

[Keep a finger on the inner yoni spot that woke her emotions.  Play her father, mother or lover or boyfriend–or yourself–the way she wished they–or you– would have acted in the scene she emoted.]


[After she expresses how she feels, tie pleasure from the places you touched in her yoni to the places you touched that triggered her traumatic memory.]


[Take a break, shower, have a refreshing drink, show her the anatomical drawing below.]

The more exact, dear partner, your picture of your inner clitoris, bladder, vagina and urethra, the easier it gets to ejaculate.

[When you and she review her internal female anatomy, tell her:

Lie on your back again. [Wait till she lies down, relaxes, breathes deeply]


[Curl your ring finger pad inside her yoni toward her navel. Rest your finger on the inner skin under her pubic bone.  Share ten breaths with her as your fingertip and the spot you touch in her commune. Imagine your fingertip extends though her  belly, then caresses her heart.]

[With your finger inside her, trace thirty light “come here” strokes– cervix to orifice–while you kiss her pearl and lip her labia.  Spread saliva into her yoni as you slide your finger from orifice to cervix.  Stroke “come here” forty or so times, as you turn your wrist from side to side.]

[Move your wrist from side to side with your finger pad stroking her g-spot area,  Trace a crescent over the skin covering her inner clitoris and urethral sponge.]

[Sweep (turn your wrist from up to down) the left half of her cave interior.  Skim the front of your right ring finger from the cave roof to its floor.]

[Withdraw your right ring finger from her yoni, then slide in your left ring finger and, with your left, brush the right half of her yoni ceiling.]

[After a few minutes, move to ease your back and neck.  Slip your left ring finger from her cave, and ease your right ring finger back in.]

[Rub, tap, and stroke each fingertip-sized  inside her cave.  Vary pressure, depths, speeds and rhythms.  Trace pulsing veins and, deeper, throbbing arteries.  For fifteen minutes, press your finger to the bone at each locus.]

Can we try two fingers inside?” ***

[If she says or nods “yes,” curl the pads of your right middle and ring fingers together along the central roof-beam–a two-inch long, bumpy cylinder about as thick as a pinky–atop her yoni ceiling.  Your two fingers caress the “beam” between them. Glide your two fingers together along the “beam” toward down from the cervix to the orifice and out the yoni, with a “come here” motion.  Imagine the beam houses a tube, her urethra, and you coax a hormone from the walls of the urethra into the urethral tube.]

[She may think–though she’s just emptied her  bladder–she needs to urinate.  Let her get up and  try to do so until no urine comes out, then return to bed and guide your fingers back into her.]

[Unite your fingers through her lower abdomen.  Press your right hand fingers within her cave upward behind her pubic bone while you press your left hand fingers downward on her outer skin above her pubic bone.  Move both inner and outer fingers in long and circular strokes.  Feel the area between your fingers swell between these fingers on her  abdomen and those in her vagina.]

[Resume kissing her yoni, move your head from side to side; alternate stretching out on your belly withdrawing your knees under you to so you don’t stress your back and neck.  Pain distracts you from your role as Guide.]

[If you find menstrual blood on your fingers, let her know she’s honored you with this intimacy: stripe the blood across your chest and thank her.]

[She may experience ejaculatory orgasm–dribble or squirt (a few cubic centimeters to several ounces) amrita, divine nectar–clear or milky, sweet- tasting, alkaline fluid from her urethra.]

[Breathe with her; stroke her, make sounds with her.  When says she feels like she’s about to release, say:]

Push out on your uterus as you would if giving birth.

You’re beautiful. I love you. You’re coming into your power.

Do you have other imprints you’d like to imprint while you’re so open?

[Stroke her till she again ejaculates or says she’s ready to download some uplifting affirmations as defaults in her biocomputer.]

[Gather ejaculate (amrita) on your left hand.  Taste it.]


[Dab her amrita on her lips so she tastes its sweetness.  Keep your right hand in her yoni.]

[After several minutes, with your free hand, press lubricant (so you don’t hurt her now-desiccated vaginal tissue) down the fingers inside her.  Ease the now-lubricated fingers from her yoni.  But rest the hand you withdrew on her mons veneris, outside.  Lie next to her and hold her tight.]

[Don’t demand she satisfy you sexually.  If she wants other sexual experiences with you, give them; but let her initiate.]

If appropriate, trade roles if you’re female, have her take you through Gratify Guys if you’re a dude.

* See “TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS” by Dr. Lessin and Janet Kira Lessin
TANTRA for ALL CHAKRAS guides you through experiences that help you:

* Love each other more and better

* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other

* Share your diverse inner-voices

* Learn what hurts and scres your Inner Kids

* Discern when to lower your subself shields

* Share vulnerability and connect with each other

* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you

* Refine how you relate

* Heal each other’s hearts

* Encourage female ejaculation

* Master male ejaculatory control

To teach those who love you how to do it best, get

TEACH TANTRA, a manual for you to experience advanced tantra and teach it to others.
You learn to teach lovers and seekers how to:

* Master advanced tantra techniques

* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other

* Refine relations

* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control

* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life

* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex

* Mutually make more in sexual loving

* Delve dreams and pastlives

* Worship women and gratify guys


SASHA ALEX LESSIN, PH.D. (U.C.L.A.) taught Sex Education at the University of Hawaii School of Medicine, Leeward Community College and the Professional School for Psychological Studies. He served as Director of Counseling at the Waikiki Drug Center and has counseled relationships, guided spiritual journeywork and taught tantra for over forty years.

JANET KIRA LESSIN, naturally tantric, joined Sasha as his co-teacher and presenter and together they developed, All-Chakra Tantra as Janet worked through her sexual abuse traumas and learned how to facilitate others’ reprogramming.

The LESSINS taught Tantra at Maui Community College, World Polyamory Association, World Tantra Association conferences, the School of Tantra on Maui and The Phoenix Goddess Temple.

They’ve appeared on numerous TV shows and on hundreds of radio shows and have written 10 books and counting. for experientials to uplevel your relationship.




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